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Here's Why Santa is the Most Awkward Mythical Man Ever

Seriously, who thought a fat, bearded man who flies around in a sleigh and carries a big bag of who-knows-what was a good idea?

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  • 1

    Santa shouldn't have quit his day job.

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    He's always watching.

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    Even when he's wasted.

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    Okay, maybe he's not watching ALL the time...

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  • 5

    He can be an emotional drunk.

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  • 6

    And he should stay off of Facebook.

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    He also plays favorites.

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    And kids shouldn't follow his example.

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    Or else they'll grow to look like this.

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  • 10

    Or this.

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  • 11

    Or this.

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    By beernbiccies (Via: Absolutely Madness)

  • 12

    Santa also enjoys taxidermy.

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    By beernbiccies (Via: Reddit)
    Or as I like to call it, "creative reindeer recycling."

  • 13

    Sometimes he can fly a bit too low.

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  • 14

    "Kid... you're making me real nervous."

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  • 15

    "I just... I dunno man. Like, what's the point of being so jolly all the time?"

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    By beernbiccies (Via: Reddit)
    Emo Santa has a sad.

  • 16

    A big, warm pile of Christmas!

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  • 17

    "RUDOLPH, GUIDE MY SLEIGH TONIGHT, DAMMIT!"

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  • 18

    "Santa's got some unpaid parking tickets for his sleigh..."

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  • 19

    Somebody was extra naughty this year.

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  • 20

    "I'm not even crying. We've passed that point on the terror scale."

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  • 21

    The spiked eggnog isn't the only thing Santa's hit too hard...

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  • 22

    Santa's feeling EXTRA jolly!

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  • 23

    But no matter how jolly he's feeling, keep your hands off his beard.

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  • 24

    OR ELSE!

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    By beernbiccies (Via: The Spartan Warrior)

  • 25

    But he's still no match for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

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    By beernbiccies (Via: Old School Wrestling)




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