Trump Assures Nation That He’s “Calling the Shots” on Wildly Unpopular Policy Decisions
Two weeks into his presidency America’s first reality-TV gameshow host president has some pretty low approval ratings, but at least he’s owning them.
Many presumed that the real puppet master is Trump’s chief strategist and white supremacist Steve Bannon, leading to the President Bannon jokes all over the internet. But the big man was quick to take ownership of the chaos his presidency has caused, blasting out this reassuring and not concerning tweet:
I call my own shots, largely based on an accumulation of data, and everyone knows it. Some FAKE NEWS media, in order to marginalize, lies!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 6, 2017
So as will be the game from now until the rest of our goddamn lives, every time Trump says anything, the world will make fun of him. This time is no exception because Twitter is calling the shots on this one.
The data is so big and you've got to use it.
That's just semantics.
TRUMP: "i call my own shots. everyone knows it"— Myq Kaplan (@myqkaplan) February 6, 2017
ME: "why say this"
TRUMP: "some people are saying otherwise"
ME: "i thought everyone knew"
That's a good boy.
Trump types on phone, Bannon over his shoulder--— Beau Willimon (@BeauWillimon) February 6, 2017
"I call...my own...shots"...No Donnie, "shots," not "shits."
"Your mortgage is due on the--"— lauren warrenâ„¢ï¸ (@iamlaurenp) February 6, 2017
Your car note is due--"
"You owe back taxes to--"
"I CALL MY OWN SHOTS!"
Ride the piggy.
Got to have your thinkin' jug playin'
Pussy grabs back.
This truck for president.
Well, I feel better about this.
[over XBOX Live]— â˜•netw3rk (@netw3rk) February 6, 2017
I CALL MY OWN SHOTS
[parent yelling in the background]