I teach high school English. One of my students likes to hang out in my classroom during break when it's cold out. He came in yesterday and told me he'd just discovered this awesome new show called Firefly. I said, "oh, cool," in a nonchalant voice and went to start class. Later that period, he was talking during the lecture so I went over to him and said "Quiet down or I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I WILL END YOU." And he squirted Gatorade out his nose. IMMD!