Conspiracy Theory of the Day: Obama Employs a Reptilian Shapeshifter?

The latest conspiracy theory surrounding President Obama stems from this video clip of a bald-headed Secret Service agent who briefly appears in the background during the president's speech on March 4th, which of course gave rise to the ridiculous assertion that the man is really a "shapeshifter alien humanoid" due to his peculiar head and facial structures. When inquired by The Wired, the National Security Council's spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden apparently quipped that while she "can't confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the sequester."