Lunch Rush: This edition brought to you by Sandal Socks.
- TDW Geek: The cat who "sings" the Game of Thrones theme
- Pitiful: Newsweek concedes that it didn't fact-check its cover story by Niall Ferguson, "Hit The Road, Barack"
- Finally: Jimmy Kimmel will move to 11:30 and face off against Leno and Letterman
- Strange: "Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan" is an anagram for "My Ultimate Ayn Rand Pr0n"
- Predictable: A pr0n star's syphilis has shut down the industry indefinitely
- Official: Junior Seau's autopsy showed no signs of alcohol or illicit drugs
- Weird: AMC is sending a zombie to the upcoming conventions to protest Dish Network
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