Happy (Sort Of) Birthday, You Wonderful Bastard You

Okay, so George Washington's actual birthday is February 22, but some dinglefritz decided that we should celebrate it on the third Monday of February instead of the 22nd itself. Because reasons.

Whatever, it doesn't matter. We'd give the man two birthdays if we could anyway. Outside of Jesus, George Washington was the greatest American who ever lived, and while we may celebrate his legacy 365 days a year, he still deserves one/two days each year for special recognition.

Here's to you, George.