If you're a man's man, you're probably freaking the f*ck out over the fact that July 15 is 'No Sports Day', at least according to this tantalizing piece of unnecessary gender politics nabbed by Jezebel.
On this of all days, there will be no sports on television.
You're probably hyperventilating already. If you are a dude, that it.
Netflix's PR, from the MLS Group, wanted everyone to know that there was a way to continue reflecting all of the anthropological archetypes that were popularized in 1990s stand up comedy.
Men be warned: girlfriends and wives around the U.S. are going to take "no sports on TV" as an invitation to gain some serious TV power – whether by recommending a favorite rom-com or multiple episodes from a favorite drama series. And, women be empowered! Sports will not be there to save him this time.
It offered suggestions for how you should continue to fulfill those engrained cultural archetypes for one day before everything can return to normal, hyper-gendered, everyday tranquility. The way to achieve that paradise can only be found in Netflix of course. It made sure to provide a separate list of alternatives for both the men and the women.
For the men, Netflix has put together a list of content that will help you and your girlfriend compromise on your entertainment:
It suggested Silver Linings Playbook, saying "Satisfy her need for romance, and you'll get the added opportunity to view Jennifer Lawrence the entire time."
Or prompted you to watch Rudy, saying "Get her to realize that everyone loves a good underdog story so you can watch some football..."
Or, don't worry because "just as an FYI - there's more than 50 of ESPN's 30 for 30 titles on Netflix if you plan to just stream on your phone or laptop while she takes over the living room."
It also gave comforting and scheming suggestions for all you sports-hatin' ladies out there.
For the women, this is your day, ladies. Get him hooked on some of your favorite TV shows or get him to finally watch that romantic comedy you've been dying to share with him. Netflix has put together a list of some of the best content to share with your guy on the one day a year the TV is yours, no excuses.
Though it just gave a list of films like One Tree Hill, Scandal, Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood without seeing the need to justify any of the picks.
Oooooof.