The Incident Started with a Knee Injury and Wanting to Take a Shower...
After a knee injury, Claus Jørstad, 45, bought IKEA's Marius chair for showering. Shortly after starting his shower, his testicle became trapped after slipping into a hole in the stool. Thanks to his steamy shower stall his testicle started swelling, making any rescue attempt that much harder.
"Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the f*** happened, I realised the little nutter has got stuck," he told the Daily Mail.
"I couldn't f***** move. Imagine an angry Irishman having an incident, cursing his way. And as I couldn't move, I started pondering how the hell I was gonna get outta the mess. After a lot of pondering forth and back, I realised I had no bloody ideas.
The water turned cold by itself. So I started freezing. The water got cold. Even more cold than my mother-in-law's smile when I married her daughter.
In despair, I reached for the hairdryer to keep warm while pondering, and that's when I realised the nut has got loose from the squirrel stool. It was when I reached for the dryer I realised I was a free man."
After Freeing Himself, Jørstad Decided Leaving a Metaphorical Comment on IKEA's Facebook Was the Best Course of Action
In his hilarious post (including pictures and updates) Jørstad described his genitals as the 'skipper and two sailors' because he said Swedes did not like direct descriptions of genitals. Using the choice wording of, "As you can imagine, the skipper is the captain down there, and the sailors are the two nuts that dangle"
Ending his post to Ikea, he described himself as a 'free man again!' and wanted to know if the stool came in yellow. Unfortunately only in red, black and white.
Of course the IKEA responded, but kept with the maritime metaphor:
"Hey Claus. We recommend that you take the stool out of the shower...if you choose to keep it in the shower, make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion."
Jørstad's New Helpful Friend, "Weinermonkey"
That should keep anything form slipping through again.
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