Fauxpaws

By CollardGreens on Dec 25, 2019 at 12:15 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1pkyB5pogg

By Fauxpaws on Nov 26, 2015 at 9:56 AM

Thankee muchly, Collard! Hope y'all have yursefs a fine ole' T-Day too!

By CollardGreens on Nov 26, 2015 at 7:08 AM

Happee Thanksgivng, Miz Fauxpaws!

By Fauxpaws on Sep 29, 2014 at 5:07 PM

Hey CG! Thot I'd stop by an' send yew big ol' wishes and prayers fer a speedy recovery! Sounds lak yew bin havin a rough go of it lately and I shur hate ta hear that. Tell yew whut tho, play it fer awl it's worth fer awhile and enjoy sum TLC frum the missus. At least til she catches on. =) See yew here sooner nawt later, I'z hopin!

By Fauxpaws on Jul 2, 2014 at 6:01 AM

So yew spendin time in the front yard, sniffin them berries and gittin a buzz? Harharhar! Ain't that jus like them insurance companies to raise the rates on folks! Nuthin for it but to pay 'em, either. Makes a body want 'nother hit a'that wine, don't it? Pass me that jug, buddy, fore it's awl gone.

By CollardGreens on Jul 1, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Ai bin "berried" in blackberries. So help meh, Miz Fauxpaws, dey kept fallin' off'n dat tree faster than a body cud pick 'em! Mai front yard still smells jes' liek hoam-maed blackberry wine! Blackberry wine ain't bad. Ai liek elderberry more, maiself, so reckon dat maeks meh a mite ol' fashioned. Yore rite 'bout dat dad-blame hail, tho (druther have blackberries comin' down on meh!). Car insurance 'round heer went up cuz der body shops wuz full of hail-damaged trucks and cars. Glad no moar fur frendz got rabies, tu.

By Fauxpaws on Jun 19, 2014 at 4:36 AM

Ai didn't noe fer shur 'bout yew behavin, jest a lucky guess, since yew bin awfully quiet round heer lately. =) Mighty glad yew mist out on that twister and awl them golf bawls fallin frum the sky! OooWEE! The wun bad twister we had heer back in April missed us by about 20 miles er so, too. We wuz grateful. Whut kinda berries ya got growin thar? Make gud squeezins, do they? We got us sum choke berry trees around but they ain't gud fer eatin or fermentin. The birds and critters luv 'em tho. Funny yew wuddent think yew'd be missin possums er skunks, but I reckin they's gud fer sumthin! We're still gettin reports of rabid skunks here but only wun cat an' no dogs bin infectid, and that poor ol' cat wuz way back in March. Shur glad folks is taken heed of the warnings.

By CollardGreens on Jun 18, 2014 at 7:01 PM

heh heh! Hao did yew noe ai bin stayin' outa trubble, Miz Fauxpaws? Y'all didn't git hit bai a twister, rite? Twister an' hail missed us bai 'bout twenty miles dis last tiem. Tell yew whut, dat grown-over pastureland uv mine keeps meh so bizzy ai cain't even heer no naggin'! Berries mite "berry" meh iff'n ai doan can 'em er maek squeezin's uv 'em. WUN TREE is droppin' so much on meh dat der mailman sets mah parcels on mah wall! When ai set on der porch ai kin heer 'em drop every minnit. Mebbe ai cud git close to clearin' mah porch an walk, an' den it rains an' yew kin guess whut happens. Reckon dat gosh-awful winter cut back on der number uv skunks an' possums, else der varmints wud help meh get shed uv dis stuff. Ain't seen a possum ner skunk dis year.

By Fauxpaws on Jun 17, 2014 at 9:19 AM

Thanky, CG! Whar yew bin, ya ol' coot? Yur ol' lady bin keepin ya bizzy and outta trubble? haw haw!!

By CollardGreens on Jun 17, 2014 at 8:29 AM

GIF FP! YEEHAW!!!

By Fauxpaws on Jul 13, 2013 at 6:47 AM

Yup, yup, ah kin see that! Looks like yew might even have a few exters in thair, too!

By CollardGreens on Jul 13, 2013 at 6:21 AM

heh heh! It's mighty nice uv yew tu notice, Miz Fauxpaws! Ai still got awl mah teeth.

By Fauxpaws on Jul 11, 2013 at 3:32 AM

Thankee, CG! Nice ta see that big ol' grin a yurs on ma dash!

By CollardGreens on Jul 10, 2013 at 2:53 PM

Cheezburger FP! YEEHAW!!!!

By Fauxpaws on May 17, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Now yer talkin, yeh ol' coot! Pass that jar along! We'll jes sit an hoot at all them other idjits make fools a'themselves! =)

By CollardGreens on May 17, 2013 at 3:10 PM

heh heh! Dunno if yew want an ol' coot liek meh doin' der Funky Chicken an twistin' up mah braces in mixed company, so mebbe ai best stick wif a do-si-do. (lifts jar of berry squeezin's up to Miz Fauxpaws fer a toast).

By Fauxpaws on May 17, 2013 at 2:34 PM

Thanky CG! Tell yur wife ya gotta werk late and we'll go dancin! Heh heh!

By CollardGreens on May 17, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Capshunz FP! YEEHAW!!!

By Fauxpaws on Dec 21, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Happiest of Hollydayz to ya, CG! cheezburger.com/6880070144

By Fauxpaws on Dec 5, 2012 at 7:12 PM

Shur am glad that's awl behind yew now and yur back gooder'n new! Thangs lak that'll make a body appreciate life's gifts an' pleashurs (and newly found muskles!) awl the more. =)

By Fauxpaws on Dec 4, 2012 at 2:31 PM

Dang! Sounds lak yew had a booger of a time thayer! Wish I'd herd sumpin 'bout it. I wudda plied yew wif sum prayers too. Shur glad ta heer yew got shed uv it. Lemme see that thayer arm... Yup yup, gooder'n enny yung buck! Musta been awl them pill bottles yew was liftin!

By Fauxpaws on Dec 3, 2012 at 8:34 AM

Yep, Thanksgiving was finer'n frog hair! Ate too much but that ain't nuthin new! lol! What yew mean, "all bettah"? Wuz yew feelin poorly? Shur hopin that's a no. Hey, stick owt yur arm fer me, I wanna check out them muskles ya got frum alla that choppin! hee hee!

By Fauxpaws on Dec 2, 2012 at 5:58 PM

CG! Where yew bin, boy? Thanky fer the 'gratz!! C'mere and gimme a hug!

By Fauxpaws on Jan 18, 2012 at 8:33 PM

Aw, yew is so cute when you blush! It's awl true tho! =)

By Fauxpaws on Jan 18, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I know 'bout them dry spells. Havin' one my own self. Yep, that kollektibble thing's got folks in a frenzy, don't it? I tried puttin up a 'no new frends' notice for a tad but awl it did was turn away the good peeps who akshully bother ta read a person's profile. I'll go and give Buyer a hidey ho and see whut happins.. Thanky fer the advise, CG! Yoo is mighty fine peeps y'own sef!

By Fauxpaws on Jan 18, 2012 at 4:27 AM

Yeah well, it ain't gonna hep him much if'n we do, iz it? har har! Saaay, ain't you and him kinfolk sumhow? Must be frum way back afore the Northun Aggreshun'd be mah guess. I wuz thinkin a frendin teh fella, but I see he's kinda bizy rat now whut with redecoratin hiz Outhouse and awl.

By Fauxpaws on Jan 17, 2012 at 12:04 PM

LOL! Either that or he's got alotta TP'in mind.

By Fauxpaws on Jan 17, 2012 at 8:15 AM

Heya Bubba! I done sent yew a TP to pass on ta buyerbware, if yew wud. Don't rightly know whut he's fixin to do with awl that TP, but then we awl haz our ways, now don't we?!

By Fauxpaws on Jan 10, 2012 at 8:45 AM

Most likely that's th' onlee par they ever made. We kin onlee hope! LOL!

By Fauxpaws on Jan 8, 2012 at 10:57 AM

LMAO! That kuzzin a yorn iz a WILD man! Whar'd he git them glittery sox? I gotta git me a payer!