LFMF
-
When aggressively pushing your legs to roll your chair backwords: A. Make sure you are not in f...
-
It's Hadron. HADRON. Large HADRON Collider. Do not confuse the order of the R and D. #LFMF
-
Remember when doing last night's dishes in the early morning that just because you happen to be s...
-
1. Open can of coke. 2. Put can up to mouth. 3. Tip can. Do not switch 2 and 3. #LFMF
-
When trying to convince you parents that you aren't drunk, "I'm 14, how could I even get alcohol!...
-
When you are a ten year old with no money and think it's cute to give your parents "gift certific...
-
Turns out those snappers that pop when you throw them at the ground leave traces of explosives on...
-
If your immigrant grandfather speaks only German, don't tell your boyfriend. He will forget which...
-
Good phrasing: "I like being challenged intellectually" Bad phrasing: "I like being mentally cha...
-
Never give your girlfriend your phone to respond to a text message while you are driving. She wil...
-
Whatever you do, and no matter how bored you get, do NOT have sexual fantasies in the middle of y...
-
If you walk for your health, DO NOT under any circumstances stop to watch trains from an overpass...
-
When trying to get intimate with your girlfriend in the shower, don't lick the part of her you ju...
-
Stop panicking and save yourself sleepless nights, expensive medical tests, and a doctor who conc...
-
If a friend texts you something like " I saw someone fapping at the club" and you do not know wha...
-
If you are just learning how to lucid dream, don't try to take control of a "naked in public" dre...
-
Your reflexes might have been quick when you caught the falling wine bottle. However, your reflex...
-
When your cat gets sprayed by a stinkbug, don't pick your cat up to smell it, you will throw up.....
-
It is fine to show your younger brother how to make waterbombs from condoms. just make sure he ge...
-
If your mobile phone ringer is "Highway to Hell" don't forget to put it on vibrate if you're goin...
-
If you print out a coloring book page for your child and hand him crayons, close the window that ...
-
If you're ever watching Rob & Big, and wonder what Big Black looked like in his youth, under NO c...
-
That muscle relaxer the doctor prescribed and told you ONLY to take at bedtime? He told you that ...
-
Make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing.
-
Bon Jovi and bin Laden are totally different.
-
That noise in thye pantry...it wasn't your little brother wearing a monster mask. It was your OLD...
-
Facing the wall and standing mere inches from it is a very bad idea when a sneeze comes. #LFMF
-
No matter how many times you press the arrow keys on your cell phone, your XBOX menu will never s...
-
When having a few drinks to build up the courage to ask a girl out don't forget the bar has a gla...
-
Before tearing apart the entire house looking for your glasses, first ask yourself- I wonder why ...
