doglvr

By tookat on Jun 3, 2010 at 7:36 AM

Probably the most difficult period of my life was when my mom went into her sporadic bad mommy role...constantly telling me what to do with my life and with both parents trying to control me again as if I were a child, during the period I was separated and then getting divorced. I had to to keep walking away from them or hanging up the phone until they were ready to not treat me as a child...or react in anger to my protecting myself. But, it worked. For a very long time now we have had mutual self respect.

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By tookat on Jun 3, 2010 at 7:25 AM

I am going to ask her if she really needs me there when she comes in next week because the last two visits were punctuated with fights because I refuse to allow her to treat me with disrespect.. and she is back into little bitty cute baby sister hasn't a brain in her body mode. The fights don't resolve anything and upset my parents. I resolved for the peace of the family not to push forward and try to open the past up for discussion...but feel spending the least amount of time with either her or my parents is best while I am so prone to anger and depression. That way I can't hurt them if I get pissed at my sister again. If I can't get the respect anyone deserves, simply because I am her sister, I will avoid her until things are less stressful for both. That is the higher vibe way of going about it as far as I am concerned....and my therapist agrees.

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By tookat on Jun 3, 2010 at 7:17 AM

When I started "falling apart" some 15 years ago, I became agoraphobic and summers were worst I could leave the house only with heavy anti anxiety meds. When the unwindings and flashbacks started occuring, they started memorial day weekend and the most incidents were spread out over the summer. As bad as things got though, I never took my pain out on others. Never blew up at my parents for not seeing they often left me in the care of predators. Never blew up at my sister for helping my aunt terrorize me. Even when I decided last month to confront my sister and see if I could jog her to remember what Gertrude did. I did it with little anger, and because I was angry, I kept it in writing....and had my housmate read over what I sent to make sure it was appropriate. Since she responded anyway with anger, that I should even think she had a part in Gertrude's abuse, I simply haven't had any contact except a few short text messages about my parents.

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By tookat on Jun 3, 2010 at 7:08 AM

I know there are days when I wish my extra long heating pad was the whole mattress, but then I wouldn't have a place to stick an arm or leg out in order to cool off.....which I need to do often. Ten years after becoming a channel and well after regulating hot flashes, I still feel the heat of vibrational ascension. Last night was a good example..... In spite of the AC being on I woke covered with a fine dew of sweat. The crew said congrats, another leap up the Shamballa ranks for refusing to go low road in spite of how much stress I have been under. Summer, starting memorial day weekend has been the time of year filled with one negative anniversary after another.

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By grandamjim on Jun 3, 2010 at 4:21 AM

I did that soooooo long ago. I'm glad to see it's still around. LOL

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By Olivia77 on Jun 2, 2010 at 9:15 PM

are you feeling any better? i hope so!

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:28 PM

btw is that a glacier in yout profile picture?

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:27 PM

Cat-teh-claws delivering the paws claws lol. Or something like that. http://cheezburger.com/View/3593118208

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:07 PM

ditto, ditto, ditto, can do! Good night.

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By 707gatos on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:05 PM

Thanks, doglvr!

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By anniefish on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I sent you a message on Cheezpetz :)

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By furrgetmenot on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:04 PM

Wur yoo teh wun askin bowt dat owl? Yep, an LOLowl :o)

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By anniefish on Jun 2, 2010 at 8:01 PM

Hey! Saw a few of your posts and thought I would chime in for help. RP=role playing.

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 7:59 PM

Hugs back! Working on another, "nicer" parody, except this one is "political" in that it sardonically states my position on de-clawing. (Hint: I don't like it.)

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 7:53 PM

Thank you! Good of you to say, because I didn't spend more than five seconds reading. Childish behavior turns my stomach. Thanks again.

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By catsuberalles on Jun 2, 2010 at 7:40 PM

Thank you! you don't think it was too mean, vicious, spiteful, vindictive, etc., etc.? btw, "Know then" I did not write it for myself, I wrote it for a cheezfrend who'd been very unkindly attacked by trolls. I told them to "ignore." As in the lol.

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By JessicaRenee on Jun 2, 2010 at 6:57 PM

Totally. I have tons of pictures of my chubby cat on my camera haha.

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By JessicaRenee on Jun 2, 2010 at 6:31 PM

yeah. but hes funny.. and nice. sweet actually.. wish i had more friends like him but our relationship is over.. eh. Oh well... i guess things happen for a reason

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By tookat on Jun 2, 2010 at 5:15 PM

not really...just having a very rainy day and the AC is on because it is warm and humid....but the kitty in me is always impressed with heated pet beds.

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By tookat on Jun 2, 2010 at 4:41 PM

ooh that lucky kitty..it has a nice warm heated bed!

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