fareon

By SovaPlum on Dec 25, 2019 at 12:19 AM

Ohai Wiggles! https://cheezburger.com/9412836864

By SovaPlum on Dec 25, 2018 at 1:24 PM

Ohai Wiggles! https://cheezburger.com/9252301056

By SovaPlum on Dec 28, 2017 at 10:03 PM

*burrrp* They tried. They keep on trying. But I'm a bottemless pit of resistance! Never meet a meal I couldn't accept with serenity. May the Buns Be With You. Always!

By fareon on Dec 28, 2017 at 3:47 AM

I fear anything that is proven to cause quantum-dementia and hysterical bowl leakage :P Also, wasn't the rebellion force-feed to death by the Sith called RonMcDon?

By SovaPlum on Dec 28, 2017 at 12:21 AM

Ohai Wiggles! Wut?!?! You fears teh Galactic Federation? Tis precisely cause it is forbidden that I favour this illicit technology. Long Live The Rebellion!!1!!!

By fareon on Dec 27, 2017 at 4:56 AM

Do lifeforms still use this method of communication? I thought the galactic federation deemed it unfit for sentient beings ;) But I suppose I could risk it, just this once, Merry Christmas.

By SovaPlum on Dec 26, 2017 at 10:57 PM

Ohai fareon! Merry U No Wut. :-) http://cheezburger.com/9109119232

By SovaPlum on Mar 20, 2017 at 12:10 AM

Ohai Wiggles! I grant you My blessing to reconstruct your Universe to your aesthetic and whimsical satisfaction. *gently puffs sparkly air into interwebby tubes* I'm sure the We that is You will do a fine job. Let me know when your done. Cherrieo! *swings up behind Brienne of Tarth, settles into dragon saddle, flies of to smack the scars off The Mountain*

By fareon on Mar 9, 2017 at 1:16 AM

I think perhaps a lack of understanding is contributing to your issues, I'll recommend some classes in fundamental thinking be put in to you happy place and see if that makes a difference. P.S The constant restructuring is unfortunately necessary since the previous Captain, who shall remain unnamed, made rather a mess of things. But we're getting closer I just have to decide if I'm going to make you universe gay or not.

By SovaPlum on Feb 4, 2017 at 7:32 PM

Ohai wiggles! So I re-read your previous msg as you suggested. And NO! You are NOT wiggling out of this one. No matter how you tried to disguise it, that was definitely an inappropriate apology. As for that pitiful attempt at passing the buck by using "we" . . . *sigh* I have to admit, its a relief to be a citizen. Your constant Universe Restructuring was impossible to follow and had a sad lack of dancing, jousting or explosions. HOWEVER. There's no such thing as too many Happy Pills. Gimme dem.

By fareon on Jan 17, 2017 at 6:47 AM

I think if you read my former message again, citizen, there is nothing an analytical mind could construe as an apology. Either way you seem inordinately upset for such a small matter, maybe we should add some happy pills to supplement your happy place, would you like that? Maybe of you're good you can go for a walk.

By SovaPlum on Jan 2, 2017 at 4:30 PM

Wiggles! *slap* Have *slap!* I *slap, slap* Taught *slap! slap!* You *slap! slap! slap! Nothing? NEVER *SLAP* APOLOGISE *SLAP! SLAP SLAP!* There's nothing for it Wiggles. You've left me no choice. This means The Vacuum! *grimly attaches vacuum hose to interwebby tubes, switches on Locator, enters Wiggles, claps on ear muffs, sets suction to MAX, filps power to ON* And now, it's time to get you STEAMED! *points vacuum at dragon, sets to Blow Hard*

By fareon on Jan 2, 2017 at 4:00 AM

It figuratively pains me to see that your delusions of adequacy are not starting to alleviate. We thought that perhaps a lighter workload would help, but it seems things are getting worse. I theoretically apologize, but there is no alternative to a dishonourable discharging from this woman’s army, you are now citizen resident. You can stay in the happy place they’ve set up for you for as long as you like, un-hopefully that might have some effect on the symptoms. P.S If we must then I insincerely wish you a crappy x-mas and a lousy new year :P

By SovaPlum on Dec 24, 2016 at 2:35 PM

Ohai Wiggles! Meowy Catmus *bonks* http://cheezburger.com/8997982976

By SovaPlum on Dec 22, 2016 at 6:20 PM

Ohai Wiggles! Awwws. Did I hit a nerve there? Not to worry, Poppet, lots of people are grammatically challenged. Why you can put in lots of errors and most people wouldn't even notice. Sot don't you fret now. Come play in my Happy Place, it's awesome! *mounts one of Deanerys's dragons, challenges Captain Buck Rogers to a joust*

By fareon on Dec 12, 2016 at 3:39 AM

Sorry, but it wasn't meant as an honorific, and neither is this, private parts. She does enjoy a bit of semi-reality, but at the last meeting of the Powers that Be, even She in her insignificant patience expressed some doubt in your ability to realize your performance goals, and return to a rank where the capital letter might once again be deserved :)

By SovaPlum on Nov 28, 2016 at 8:17 PM

Ohai Wiggles! That's Corporal, Wiggles. Corporal Punishment. Notice the capital letters? That's how you indicated that it's a honorific. *sight* I'm beginning to see why your Decent didn't go so well. How were you to rule the Great Infernal if you can't manage simple legalese? As for the rest of you message. *long sisgh* No, I'm afraid that was NOT implicit in the prior message. Not even close. As for you failure to refer to the Divine by her correct gender. Wiggles, Wiggles, Wiggles. It's a good thing for you She doesn't intervene when mortals choose their own Path To Destruction or you might be in for a lighting bolt to the unmentionables. Come to think of it, I guess that means She's a fan of Reality T.V. Have you considered doing a new show? I'm sure She would enjoy Giggle@Wiggles! Maybe it could be about you mastering this? *attaches 13 terabyte external hard drive to interweb tubes, selects The Complete Grammarian Assembled and Edited by Cthulhu, clicks on DownLoad*

By fareon on Nov 22, 2016 at 5:48 AM

Oh, corporal punishment, once again you disappoint me. It thought it was perfectly clear what the mist is, it's universe vessels. An endless sea of defenceless universes forming a booth nourishing and tasty primordial soup :) Since you're on your last petty-officers rank I'm going to recommend you give the wheel to God for a while. She's been in the backseat for a few eons, and she really only has one problem-solving tool, genocide, but at this point I don't see how things can get any worse :P

By SovaPlum on Nov 11, 2016 at 9:42 PM

Ohai Wiggles! I confess! I was puzzled by your last communication. Then I got my Science Officer - El Medico - to examine it and he pointed out that as you are now the - oops - THE Devourer of The Mist you are now eating mist. I totally missed the word "of" in you new job description. Sorry about that. So what kinds of mist do you devour? Any preferences? I have a handy function on my vacuum cleaner blows out what it has just sucked up. I'd be delighted to send you a sample of antipodean mist to try. Guaranteed only slightly smoggy! :) ___ As for the other thing. You may call me anything that enables you to feel better about yourself, I don't mind in the least bit. __ Try this lollipop. It's leftover Halloween candy. I mugged some teenage T & Ters as teenagers are too old to go begging door to door. I sent them off with a flea in their ears and minus their gleanings. I think I got back more than I gave out! I think I shall make this a new tradition!

By fareon on Nov 1, 2016 at 6:53 AM

Oh former captain, current Sergeant, see I had to demote you again for your insecurity, I have no interest in you universe vessel. It is but a fly on the windshield of the multiverse. I understand you're upset, but please don't give the regular devourerers LSD, it will make them sick and no one wants to see what they have on the inside. Take my word for it, I haven't had them stuffed with love-fluff :P

By SovaPlum on Oct 18, 2016 at 2:58 PM

Ohai Wiggles! Oh now I see! Even though I jettisoned you for Failure To Dance, you think you have authority over my Universe Vessel. Aw that so cute. So . . so . . so Wiggly! Perhaps you failure to conquer the depths of Hell has left you insecure and over compensating? I'm sure, with a little time, you will adjust to you new status as THE Devoured In THE Mist - Did I do that right? __ Do Finns make a big deal of Halloween? Is so there will be ample opportunities for you to Devour. To assist you I have provided a batch of glitter mixed with LSD to sprinkle on your feather dusters. That should make you more attractive to children rampaging through the streets armed with Offensive Candy that you could relieve them of!

By fareon on Oct 11, 2016 at 5:21 AM

Oh First Sergeant, see what you make me do? I had to demote you again, it's starting to get embarrassing. It's not A devourer, it's The Devourer. What do you think your universe vessel is travelling through, I'll just tell you and maybe save you a demotion. It's Mist, The Mist, the domain of THE Devourer of THE Mist. Hell is so inconceivably insignificant, and a universe vessel is less than that. However, I thank you for the thoughtful gesture if feather dusters :P

By SovaPlum on Sep 27, 2016 at 9:41 PM

Ohai Wiggles! I'm sorry your Decent through the ranks of Hells Own didn't go as hoped. Now that you are above ground again I'm sure you will make a perfectly adequate Devourer :) To help you stay in a positive mood I have lined the streets with upright feather dusters. I hope they get you giggling! ___ I no not this Sergeant Major you speak of. I have posted you msg on the recreation room noticeboard in my Universe Vessel. Maybe some one will recognize it.

By fareon on Sep 23, 2016 at 1:04 AM

I'm sorry to have to do this Sergeant Major. But your failure to solve the mystery of the missing message has knocked you down to non-commissioned officer. As minor minions in the more hazy part of the pantheon Scooby-doo and Shaggy came to me in tears to reluctantly express their disappointment. I hope to see better from you in the future :P Evilily yours from the new Devourer in the Mist

By SovaPlum on Jul 25, 2016 at 8:40 PM

Ohai Wiggles! Just realized my last msg didn't go through. Or maybe I just dreamed it? Anyway. My Deliverance Rat was reincarnated, umm lessee 3(?) weeks ago. He says to tell you he's gratified to learn you mistook him for a demon. In that incarnation he took a Uni course in disguises and it really paid off! He also wants you to know he's flattered you thought him tasty. Like all rats, he took pride in preparing to be delicious and in looking forward to giving you the opportunity to catch and eat him again in this lifetime. Personally, I hope he makes you work hard to catch him. You're looking a bit pudgy there. ___ How's you Descent going? There doesn't seem to be a lot of activity going on, or maybe that feed is borked too? Everyday some thing seems to be borked, these days. Either way, would you like me to send you my copy of 24hours of the Chicken Dance? I've never known anyone to last more than 15 3/4hours. Here's a small sample. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWjeITmDmmo

By fareon on Jun 21, 2016 at 3:53 AM

I'm glad to hear you've found the false video feed, ensign. Your incorrect idea about positivitet gave me an idea. I've been spreading nice-i-tude among the immortals and it seems to be having a weakening effect. P.S The rat never made it, but the honey rosted demon was delicious.

By SovaPlum on May 31, 2016 at 12:38 AM

P.S. Don't give the rat chess3e. He's lactose intolerant. Give him bananas. Rats love bananas.

By SovaPlum on May 31, 2016 at 12:37 AM

Ohai Wiggles! I'm glad to see you think you are doing well in your new careerer. A positive attitude is an asset to any endeavour! ___ You asked for some murderous tips? WELL! I can help you there. And I need to. Your ratings have been a wee bit disappointing. As slasher shows go I've seen better. So have a lot of people. So how about some sex? Sex is always popular. Especially combined with violence. May I suggest an oldie but a goodie? Lite Greek yoghurt mixed with equal parts honey and peanut butter. Add a dash of vanilla essence and finish with arsenic. Invite some lonely demon over to eat you for dinner. NOTE! Only apply the tasty treat just before your date is due to arrive. Arsenic applied topically is itchy. Set the mood with strobe lighting - more dramatic for your viewers - and some disco music performed on the chainsaw. Oh, and since it's you, I'm sending a rat to deliver you some glitter-gel for you hair. He should swim up a toilet near you soon. Good Luck!

By fareon on May 9, 2016 at 12:12 AM

Sorry about the late reply, lieutenant, but I've been interning at Cthulhu, Cthaeghya, Ghatanothoa, Baker an Meyer. Interesting times! But they have me working 72 hours per day. Soon I'll have sacrificed enough of the other interns to make junior partner. Then I'll just have to finish off one of the senior partners, any tips on killing immortals would be appreciated. I have to go time for the torture master class. I think we're going to have to sit through a flute concert performed by the children from the school for the tone-deaf.

By SovaPlum on Apr 10, 2016 at 10:07 PM

Oh Wiggles! How you make me larf! You took your contract tho Cthulhu? He Who Rends Souls Limb From Limb? For giggles? Cthulhu whom to look upon is to be rendered mad? . . . Well,that explains a lot. Me, I only gaze upon Him via multiple layers of Protection. But you? Oh dear.Wiggles, Wiggles, Wiggles. Well all I can say is, thank you! for notifying me of your intention to violate you contract via Descendence. I have set my Vessel's sensors to track you and contacted the Evil Incarnations that run all reality TV and registered you new show. Your Damnation and Humiliation Show should get me well on my way to my own Starkiller Base. Gosh. This is very exciting. Have a healthy energy snack for you journey. *fills a large bowl with steaming popcorn, stirs in butter, dusts with Angel Dust icing sugar, places on transporter, presses Make It So*