CheezCake

My College Situationship Went So Off The Rails That Our RA Had To Call The Police

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    I met Jason during the first week of school, when everyone is on the hustle to make as many new friends as possible. This is the time period in college when the girls in the room across the hall become your best friends for about 6 months, random guys from frat parties become your study group, and a girl from Geology 101 becomes your daily lunch partner. 

    So, when I met Jason, I was not looking for anyone other than a friend or something very casual. We had an instant connection and began spending tons of time together, but I would always remind Jason that I didn't want anything serious as I wasn't ready for a relationship fresh into college, especially because I had just spent high school in a relationship. Jason said this was totally fine, but also (small problem) he was already in love with me. Red flag #1- I had known him for a few weeks max. But, when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. I ignored his admission and said that I just wasn't ready. 

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    And for a while, things were going great with Jason. Sure, there were constant love admissions and pressuring me to date, which probably pushed me away and made me want to date him even less. But, other than that, we enjoyed spending time together. One day we were out with our friends at a bar, and he just could not stop asking me why I won't date him. I explained, as usual, that I just wasn't interested in dating for the time being, and he went quiet. Jason said he wasn't feeling well and asked if we could just walk back to the dorm. We walk back and things are fine, he just stayed silent.

     The second I scan my ID to get into our dorm, Jason completely explodes in the common area. He's screaming, crying, and basically throwing a giant tantrum. I'm begging him to be quiet and asking if he wants to go back outside to talk, and at this moment, I'm really feeling like a mother, which is not really a turn on. 

    He's loud enough that the RA comes out to see what all the ruckus is, and sees Jason throwing a major fit on the ground, and she also can't calm him down. She ends up calling the police, who decide that Jason is under the influence and not acting appropriately, and they haul him away. 

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    After that, I didn't hear from Jason for a few days. None of our friends had heard a word, and we were all worried about him. Finally, on a regular Tuesday afternoon when I'm at the library studying, I get a text from Jason asking where I am. I'm excited to hear that Jason is sounding more stable, and I tell him I'm at the library. 10 minutes later, Jason is standing in front of my table in the completely silent and packed library SCREAMING at me. He's shouting about how I'm psychotic and crazy, I got him in trouble, and it was all my fault. He leaves by himself without needing to be escorted out by campus security, and obviously at this point I'm so embarrassed and I tell myself I'm completely done with him.

    I stand my ground and decide I won't let his behavior push me out of the library, there's no reason I should leave when I wasn't the one being loud and I still need to study. I stay, and he walks right back in 20 minutes later (loudly) crying and begging me to forgive him for his behavior. After talking (outside, I'm not a library talker. I have some respect), we mutually decided that this was clearly not working and we need a full, clean break with no interaction. 

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    I'd like to say that we never saw each other again, that we both moved on with our lives and wished each other well and had separate happiness. But, I just can't lie to you guys. We saw each other on and off for a while after that, but we did eventually go our separate ways and wished each other well. Coincidentally enough, he ended up in a happy long-term relationship and I ended up in (what feels like) a karmic situationship where we "saw each other exclusively but weren't dating", where I was the one with unrequited feelings for the next two years of my life.

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    We're in general friendly contact now, and when we both look back on the situation it's honestly just hilarious to both of us. We've both matured a lot since then (yay growth!), and I feel that I've learned a lot from the whole situationship. Someone who thinks they're in love so early is going to have unrealistic expectations for you, and someone who can ignore that red flag out of convenience and selfishness is flying their own giant red flag too. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be together, whether it's timing, maturity levels, clashing expectations, or a mix of all of those. 

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