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Hide the Pain Harold: Old Guy, Stock Photo Model, Tortured Soul

Most of the time, stock photo models are just grinning idiots with no emotion. Where's the pathos? The agony? The heartache? The evil? Harold tries to be like those grinning idiots, but that haunting gaze betrays his façade of happiness. Look into the Abyss long enough, and it begins to look back at you.

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  • 1

    Stare upon the visage of regret.

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold looking at the camera with a pained expression
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    "Why should anybody be interested in some old man who was a failure?"


    -- Ernest Hemingway


  • 2
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold holding his glasses regretfully
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    "I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got."


    -- Kurt Cobain


  • 3

    Yesterday, my wife told me to "go to Hell."

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold uncomfortably having breakfast with his wife
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  • 4

    I told her that I was already there.

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold sadly eating
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  • 5
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold answering the phone with a pained expression
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    "One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."


    -- Virginia Woolf


  • 6

    "Hmm, all 350 on board were killed?"

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold holding back tears while reading the newspaper
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  • 7
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold surprised while reading the news
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    "Perhaps someday the revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other side of this monumental grotesque joke. And then I'll laugh. And then I'll know what life is."


    -- Sylvia Plath


  • 8

    You have a rare form of cancer called "AIDS." Sorry.

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold smirking sadly in a doctor's robe
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  • 9

    "Go fish, Gladys!"

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold aggressively playing cards with wife
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  • 10

    "I hate you so damn much."

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold grinding his teeth while playing cards
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  • 11
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold looking tortured while playing cards
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    "Yes sir, I am a tortured man for all seasons, as they say, and I have powerful friends in high places. Birds sing where I walk, and children smile when they see me coming."


    -- Hunter S. Thompson


  • 12
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold looking happy but still reserved
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    "When time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you."


    -- David Foster Wallace


  • 13
    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold forcing a smile during a formal toast
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    "I can now see everything falling to pieces before my eyes."


    -- Ian Curtis


  • 14

    xXxOpTicH4r0Ld420xXx has joined the game.

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold edited with gang and swag stickers
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  • 15

    Call the cops, I don't give a f**k.

    stock photos of Hide the Pain Harold tortuously using the laptop and showing it to a second Harold
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  • 16

    Rekt.

    comic using stock photos of Hide the Pain Harold pranking his brother with fidelity
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  • 17
    Hide the Pain Harold edited over stock photo of man with chest pain
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    "Death may be the greatest of all human blessings."


    -- Socrates


  • 18

    "Jesus, you have s**t taste, Gladys."

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold miserably listening to bad music with wife
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  • 19

    "Oh, and one more thing..."

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold smiling painfully while on the phone
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  • 20

    "... you're next."

    stock photo of Hide the Pain Harold forcing a smile at the doctor's office
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