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1
Thou shalt have no other cats before me, nor give nuzzles to other kitties, even if they are cute.
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2
Thou shalt not kill, for that is my job, except I won't kill anything all the way, and instead leave it on the carpet for you to finish off.
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3
Thou shalt upload no fewer than 3 photos of your cat to Instagram per week, but no more than 2 per day, as not to annoy thy followers.
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4
Thou shalt have no fewer than 12 nicknames for your pet.
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5
Thou shalt fill thy home with toys, treats, and at least one comfy cat bed in every room.
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6
Thou shalt be late for work if your kitty is particularly snuggly in the morning.
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7
Thou shalt give nibbles of your turkey sandwich to your kitty, because sharing is caring.
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8
Thou shalt not leave drinks on the counter, lest they be knocked to the floor, because every flat surface is fair game for felines.
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9
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's cat.
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10
Honor mine father and mine mother, even though my mother was an alleycat and my father was feral.
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