‘It was about control’: Woman calls it quits on 4-year relationship when her boyfriend tries to boss her into using her $12k inheritance on home renovations they don't need

Money, like many other things in this world, has a way of showing someone's true intentions. You can be with someone for years and not realize their genuine intentions and might even become colorblind to the menacing hues they might be showing you every so often… But then, the rose-colored glasses come off once you tell them "No!" for the first time. It's not all sunshine and rainbows if their response is anything other than calm, collected, or nurturing. Communication is the key to making a relationship work, and if either partner can't get that chip off their shoulder, well… 

The woman in this story breaks up with her long-term boyfriend after he tries to dictate what she should do with her $12k inheritance. There's no such thing as a gentle suggestion in this story—her boyfriend continues to push his own ideas for a home renovation onto her despite her multiple unenthusiastic responses. Her last straw was when her boyfriend complained to their friends about it, proving himself to be a penny-pinching, controlling dude. Luckily, this lady knows her worth and realizes this isn't just about money.

Author image for Lana DeGaetano Lana DeGaetano
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  • Cheezburger Image 10466373888
    via Getty Images for Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • "AIO for Breaking Up with My Partner Over My Inheritance Money Drama?"

    So, I (29F) recently got an unexpected inheritance of $12,000. I was really excited because I had plans to pay off some debts and maybe invest a
    via avelleo
  • bit for my future. When I told my boyfriend (31M) of 4 years, I thought he'd be happy for me. Instead, he immediately started pushing this idea that we
    via avelleo
  • should spend about half of it on a fancy home renovation. I mean, our place is totally fine the way it is, but he kept going on about how it needed a major upgrade.
    via avelleo
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  • I told him I wasn't comfortable with that idea and that I had my own plans for the money. That's when he blew up at me calling me selfish
    via avelleo
  • and tight-fisted, and insisting that I was putting our future on hold just to save money. What started as a calm conversation quickly
    via avelleo
  • turned into a shouting match. He even dragged up every little expense I'd ever made in the past, trying to paint me as someone who's always been too cheap.
    via avelleo
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  • This woman's boyfriend decides to bring up past expenses because it suits his agenda, nothing more and nothing less. The very fact that he's kept tabs on her spending methods, transactions, and the like proves that he's the miserly factor in their relationship. A $12k inheritance isn't the extravagant sum he's making it out to be, and if the woman chooses to save the money for their future together or only for her (which is totally fine, too,) that is her business. His behavior after she rejects him tells her all she needs to know about his intentions and expectations for the relationship moving forward. She wants no part of that.

  • In the days that followed, things got even more intense. He started telling our friends that I didn't care about our relationship and was
    via avelleo
  • Cheezburger Image 10466374400
    via Yunus Tuğ For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • being miserly, basically trying to guilt-trip me into changing my mind. It became clear that this wasn't really about the renovation at all—it was about control and how he sees our future together.
    via avelleo
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  • Eventually, I decided to break up with him. I can't let someone who doesn't respect my choices or my financial plans stay in my life, especially when it all
    via avelleo
  • comes down to him trying to control what I do with my own money. Some friends say I overreacted and that relationships sometimes require compromise, but honestly, this was about more than money. AIO?
    via avelleo
  • Magdovus Nope, not overreacting. It's not his money and he wanted to control it.
    via Magdovus
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  • Lorindel_w... If you're in the US 12k get you a pretty small remodeling. Your money. Your call. Pay off your debts. Always.
    via Lorindel_wallis
  • SadAcanth... That's a weird hill for him to di on. Now he has neither you, nor a renovated home.
    via SadAcanthocephala521
  • Puzzleheaded_Gear622 Isn't it funny how money always brings out the worst in people.. or who they really are. The second he saw dollar signs he figured he wanted that money and you had no rights to it. Or to decide what to do with it ultimately. That translates to him not having one shred of respect for you or caring about you and heriting that when he should be happy for you. ▶▶▶
    via Puzzleheaded_Gear622
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  • Mrs_Gracie2001 NOR. Dumping him was 100% the best part.
    via Mrs_Gracie2001
  • jaimechandra OMG red flag! You're not married, it's not his money, and he is trying to manipulate you. You're right to break it off. GOOD FOR YOU!
    via jaimechandra
  • TealBlueLava NTA - Be grateful that he showed his true colors before you got married and everything was legally tied together.
    via TealBlueLava
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toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend relationship advice inheritance drama relationship-drama reddit story relationships advice relationship feud reddit thread Reddit money toxic relationship dating dating advice
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