The "Let Me Tell You How Irish I Am," Drunk
You know what you don't want to listen to while you're drinking? Some guy talking about his grandmother who happened to be born in Ireland. Nothing kills a buzz like a genealogy lesson. Nothing kills your buzz like talking about family.
The "Can't Keep Their Clothes On," Drunk
Some people are closet nudists, or drunken nudists, whatever. Either way trying to get clothes back on your drunk friend is not how you want to spend your evening. Especially when your friend is covered in beer.
The "Look How Drunk I Am," Drunk
Some folks just want to be the center of attention. And they'll do whatever it takes to get there, If you don't know who wants to be the center of attention, just look for someone who yells "WOO" a lot. WOOOOOOO!
The "Let Me Show You How Sexy I Am," Drunk
Alcohol breeds confidence, whether it's warranted or not. When some random guy realizes he's the suavest man since Daniel Craig things start to get weird. From awkward pickup lines to creepy shoulder rubs, he just makes you want to leave.
The "I'm So Wasted Let's Makeout," Drunk
Have you ever seen a drunk couple making out so terribly that it bums you out? Liz Lemon refers to this as "French Canadian Kissing." It's a thing, especially when people are drunk. And it's gross, really gross.
The "Let's Play Punch-Face," Drunk
Sure, maybe some guy just wants to prove how tough he is, but once that first punch hits and the adrenaline gets going it turns into a full on brawl. So, unless you're going to grab a bar stool and join in, it's best to move on.
The "Hold My Beer and Watch This," Drunk
Similar to the "WOO" people, these drunks just want attention. But, they want the sort of attention Evil Knievel used to get. And, sure sometimes the hi-jinx goes swimmingly, but most of the time it just ends in a concussion.