Mom: "The dog NEEDS a life preserver! Look, he's little! Our other dogs have big feet, they can paddle well, but he has teeny little legs." Dad: "Tiny legs, bah! Midgets can swim!" Me: "Okay, that's it. I'm quoting you on the internet." Dad: "What, is there a 'Dumb Shit My Dad Says' site?"
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43-year employee gets vacation time cut, takes 10 weeks of PTO and refuses to come back for less than 7 figures: 'It's the day Jimmy is supposed to return. He doesn't'
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Employee goes $1.87 over lunch budget and HR denies reimbursement, so he digs up $6K in petty expenses just to prove a point: 'Never be team player when it comes reimbursement'
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22-year-old living at home refuses to share room with father's girlfriend's 10-year-old daughter despite girlfriend insisting: "We even have a spare room"
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60-year-old grandmother tries to "retrain" 3-year-old grandson to speak with a lower voice behind mom's back: "That squeaky voice won't serve him well. Boys need to sound strong"
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18-year-old moves out to live with grandparents after stepdad makes him work for a father-figure and guilt trips him about not being close to stepsiblings, he stands his ground: “It’s not like I’m alone”
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