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35 Tasty Tumblr Gems To Help You Pass The Time

Tumblr never ceases to entertain us.

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  • 1
    Text - mintycoolnessisrelevant I've got a new word for fanfic writers to use, brought to you by todays word of the day: Dictionary.com WORD OF THE DAY MARCH 17, 2017 smaragdine adjective [smuh-RAG-din] 1. emerald-green in color. 2. of or relating to emeralds. example sentence: she gazed into his smaragdine orbs mmilhouse obama chuckled. "you mean the chaos smaragdines?"
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  • 2
    Text - maxiesatanofficial I'm ending the debate once and for all Fahrenheit is better than Celsius because you can truthfully see that it's 69° outside and go "nice" rather than immediately collapsing from heat exhaustion enourmo also you can cook and reasonably often set your oven to 420°
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  • 3
    Text - stromcuzewon god, i haven't cha cha slid since high school cultofthepigeon ive never seen the cha cha slide refered to in past tense and i am fucking shaken
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  • 4
    Text - pursuitofhapppinessss: ten-and-donna: dustbats: I'm on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I'm driving-like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole he said "to the left," and I just mumbled "take it back now y'all" and hit the pothole straight on Literally crying this is my favorite post on this website
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  • 5
    Text - cowboysuggest spiders. IN the tub, spiders in the tub. Come on now, SPI DERS IN THE TUB! SPIDERS IN THE TUB! animatedamerican T can only assume this is meant to be chanted to the rhythm of "uptown funk you up, uptown funk you up" but I cannot begin to speculate as to why patrickat Stop! Wait a minute. Why my tub got these spiders in it? Source: cowboysuggest 49,574 notes A
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    Text - Disappearing Grand parents? no fun in the tub ?? Are pregnant women allowed to travel? I am not seeing ghosts showering in space suit Honey, the baby's in the hot tub... toripocalypse sims forum topics out of context are so hilarious
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  • 7
    Text - fennecaat oatmealo sounddesignerjeans It's 2:30 AM and I'm in the men's bathroom and someone was in another stall and I starting blaring the Thomas The Tank Engine theme and I literally heard them stop peeing out of fear lusec how do you know it was fear and not arousal? sounddesignerjeans I like to think we live in a nice world and not the one you just created Source: sounddesignerjeans 49,910 notes
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  • 8
    Adaptation - paxamericana Motorised shed hits 100mph to break speed record at Pendine Sands 12 May 2018 STRAIGHTLINERS The Fastest Shed has lived up to its name and beat its own record time, reaching 101mph hell yes dude kelagon ACT NOW, THESE HOMES ARE GOING FAST
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  • 9
    Text - mushishitposter reasons you should adopt black cats 1. they're adopted less bc of superstition 2. the fuzzy one look like soot motes 3. people think you're a witch and leave you alone 4. Every picture you take of them looks like a void with glowing eyes which is inadvertently hilarious 5. cat Source: mushishitposter 57,641 notes
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  • 10
    Text - eevee-nicks Update I think Princess Zelda lost her pregnancy :(Or else she gave birth and killed the babies, which is particu- larly sad because Samus is the one who impregnated her. At any rate she isn't pregnant anymore. To recap for anyone who missed it, Samus was found dead behind the castle a couple of weeks ago. Link died not long after that, so it's just been Zelda, Bayonetta, and Pikachu chilling out with some snails. Of course, none of those three can impregnate each other so no
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  • 11
    Text - me: i wanna swim in a natural pond or lake, i want to walk in and see the moss and the trees and the little fish and just be one with nature also me: HUHEDN SOMNETH sloPRY TOUHCY MEy LEG
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  • 12
    Fictional character - hiziram mousathe14 I AM A MODEL OF MENTAL HEALTH! 1gothiccharmschool This. this may be the funniest Batman panel l've ever seen. Source: keptin-.. 61,507 notes
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  • 13
    Text - l50% 4G 18:42 questionablefindings not-the-conversation-starter followthebluebell I got catcalled today So I get home, right? My phone goes off and the caller id shows it's my manager. I'm not... entirely happy about this (see: "I literally just got home"). I an- Swer anyway, and there's some weird static? I can't get my manager to answer me and I start to worry. I text her instead. Her cat was fucking sitting on her phone and butt-dialed me. The static' I heard was him purring. the only
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  • 14
    Text - gwynndolin the most powerful thing humans have is the fact that you can drop a "hey whats going on everypony" into a conversation and immediately activate everyone's fight or flight response to go off in a 20 foot radius Source: gwynndolin #mlp
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  • 15
    Map - CANADA MEXICO Notione Cndine Projct fightingscholarlykrogan thehalfbloodprinceofbelair hashtag-metis-swag: mapsontheweb: The contour of some American states form a Chef carrying a tray of fried chicken This is so important nOBODY has mentioned the fact that the chicken is Kentucky kentucky fried chicken the conspiracy slowly unravels
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  • 16
    Text - 4G i 48% 19:09 Do not forgat to be kind to crows If you are crvel they remember it |and you will make many enemies. mydruidlife In fairy tales it always pays to take heed of the animals of the wild. aggressivelybicaptainamerica Real talk this is not even a joke???? A murder of crows stalked my grandfather aft one with a bb gun for weeks. Source: literal-ghost
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  • 17
    Text - ringoroadagain radio announcer voice: okay next up we got john lennon's ghost with "i deserved to die for walking like that" stay tuned on fuckFM for more hit songs commercial: i cum every day now that i went to the furniture sale 707goat umm op what the fuck is this ringoroadagain radio
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  • 18
    Text - iwilleatyourenglish my leopard gecko hasn't eaten for over a week so i took him to the vet. vet said he's extremely healthy and the reason he's not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early i paid $97 to learn that my gecko won't eat because he's too fucking horny do anything iwilleatyourenglish can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like "i can't eat this i'm too fucking horny"
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  • 19
    Text - COME SEE MY CAT brainstump dont go in an-australian-lungfish But I want to see the cat Source: weirdnessisgood #cackling
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  • 20
    Text - So I get regular nosebleeds, so did my dad, and my uncle, and my cousin, and my sister. After class when we're waiting on the busses to arrive, we get to use our phones. I'm scrolling through fandom tumblr and suddenly I start to have one. I calmly get up and get a tissue, but the teacher points out that I'm having a nosebleed and sends me to the nurse. I set my phone down and go to the bathroom because by the time l get to the nurse it'll be over. When I come back, everyone is staring at
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  • 21
    Text - what height are u tall person: oh, uh idk?? like 5'10 or 6'1 i'm not sure ahaha short person: i am 156.3cm or 5 feet 1.61 inches i measure myself 3 times a week truest thing I've ever seen did you just comment on a chat post you soggy fuck nugget You can comment on these things??? STOP COMMENTING ON THE CHAT POST YOU CAN'T CHAIN ME DOWN, ASSHOLE
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  • 22
    Text - jewcoded my DNA test results came back positive. i definitely have DNA saladsaladnovski quit bragging Source: jewcoded 11,981 notes
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  • 23
    Text - REI tilthat TIL people who are highly intelligent have lower levels of satisfaction the more they socialize with friends via reddit.com snarthurt yeah this would be via reddit.com wouldnt it Source: tilthat 3.540 notes
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  • 24
    Text - memedong hello everybody id like you to meet goobert, wikMow is Triks ry MW fepathofradiance tell goobert id die for him memedong You Dont Have A Choice
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  • 25
    Text - snorlaxatives me driving: *leaves a safe and appropriate distance between myself and the car in front of me* car in the next lane over, usually a honda civic: *jams their weaselly little bodies in that space for no mf reason* 235 notes
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  • 26
    Cartoon - 80% 7:10 PM Il Verizon soupery candynubbies Follow daily--jadeharley EAT SLEEP MIN REPEAI 23460 DemS NOE i'm a crafter, but y'all knew that Source: daily--jadeharley #HFJDKHFLK #homestuck #mc #arts #q 2,349 notes
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  • 27
    Text - absentlyabbie should i be in bed? yes am i? hell no coffeebuddha should i be in bed? no am i? hell yes celesteandtheirfandoms The only two moods
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  • 28
    Text - writing-prompt-s Sloths aren't lazy; they're just saving their energy Today, that energy is released. bigbeefyladies this is singlehandedly the scariest fucking post on this hellsite what the fuck Source: writing-prompt-s 156,291 notes
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  • 29
    Text - tumblingoverstars self care is chugging a lava lamp danhinkle no tumblingoverstars glug Source: tumblingoverstars
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  • 30
    Text - rcktpwr we all need to fuck acoolguy you tell me this the day after i trade my penis in at gamestop
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  • 31
    Text - if you find bones in the forest, sit a bit and listen. they are old and have some good stories to tell.maybe they'll teach you a spell or two, or explain where the water on our planet came from. if you find bones by the ocean, run. don't look back. run, faster, faster. the sea may love you but there are nights where she knows neither mercy nor science, and the bones warn you only once deseng boi if you find bones call the police i hate this website so much moami this is a piece of creativ
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  • 32
    Eyewear - drunkgeralt finding snacks you didn't know you had
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  • 33
    Product - 9:52 am 64% pigwaan animerugs NTME PRINTHOUSE animerugs RUG OF THE DAY! sword art online rug only Perfect for showing your guests that you have bad taste in anime and that you're willing to spend money on it. $28.99 4 notes
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  • 34
    Text - mazrimtaim elcome Welcome to Windows95 What's New Did you know... Online Registration Touch your monitor. It is warm, like flesh But it is not flesh Not yet. Next Tip Show his Welcome Screen next time you start Windows Close ranger-Of-shadOw microsoft has an agenda, it seems X
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  • 35
    Text - monfevre Follow showerthoughtsofficial Minty is just cold spicy facelesskinkyblackguyblog Delete this Source: reddit.com 97,393 notes
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