At the heart of the basement lies the thing / The chuffing, huffing, up-puffing thing that grows year by year. He used to be a little cat – a kitten, really – small and sweet Now he eats the spiders, eats the mice / Eats the horrid creepy bugs That cross his path in ignorance No flea would dare to burrow in To fur like leather, or like wings He hasn’t groomed himself in ages / His shed-fur piles are outrageous! Beware the beast within your basement – oh! Beware of Basement Cat!