Cringey Neckbeard Texts List Of Demands To His Unimpressed Date

Author image for Meeeeesh
Meeeeesh
Jun 12, 2019 4:00 PM EDT

Some people should just legally not be allowed in the dating pool, and this guy is one of them. We suspect that his "list of demands" was probably initially meant to be a joke, but in the end his date was not amused by it. We can't really say that we blame her...

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  • 01
    Funny text message that reads, "These are my demands, submit or endure my unrelenting wrath, for my lust for vengeance knows no bounds, 'Tory'"
    via ELwyrm
  • 02
    Funny text message that reads, "1. I don't like the name, change it"
    via ELwyrm
  • 03
    Funny text message that reads, "2. NO DOGS"
    via ELwyrm
  • 04
    Funny text message that reads, "3. We listen to Radio 4 and Classical FM in the car, that's final"
    via ELwyrm
  • 05
    Funny text message that reads, "I don't, (AND WON'T) meet friends and or relatives"
    via ELwyrm
  • 06
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 5. I'm the breadwinner, my paycheck cannot and will not,
    via ELwyrm
  • 07
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 6. Speak ONLY when spoken to.
    via ELwyrm
  • 08
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 7. My mancave, (fortress of Gabitude) is, at all times, out of bounds
    via ELwyrm
  • 09
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 8. You support West Ham now.
    via ELwyrm
  • 10
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 9. Jeremy Clarkson's autobio- graphy, 'the world according to Clarkson', is my bible.
    via ELwyrm
  • 11
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - 10. Bring your own coat and buy your own food. I'm a man not the salvation army.
    via ELwyrm
  • 12
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - When you accept my demands, in full, we can discuss arrange- ments for courtship and so forth. If for any reason you find these conditions unreasonable, we are obviously unsuited and I hope you would not wish to waste my time as I am a very busy man.
    via ELwyrm
  • 13
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - Today 07:40 Yikes
    via ELwyrm
  • 14
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - Today 10:04 Ill pick you up at 8
    via ELwyrm
  • 15
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - Today 13:32 What's your address?
    via ELwyrm
  • 16
    neckbeard cringe text - White - No
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  • 17
    neckbeard cringe text - Text - But I've selected you
    via ELwyrm
  • 18
    neckbeard cringe text - Blue - That's a shame
    via ELwyrm
  • 19
    neckbeard cringe text - Suit - I just want itto stop.
    via sketchylear

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