By
Carrots_And_Crayons
on May 10, 2011
at 3:46 PM
Yep, an' if you don't post on The Flock, he's gonna come visit you tonight and chew your eyes out. Or something like that, the aliens might come to get you first. Okay, JuJu, this is really important. You really need to know this, it's for your own safety. According to some scientist or somebody, eating lettuce improves all aspects of your life. Eating lettuce with a SPORK, however, is shown to increase the benefits by 100%. Eating lettuce with a spork prevents aliens from abducting you from your bed at night and sticking probes in places you don't even want to know about. Sometimes, the aliens will kill their specimens once they have no more use for them. Don't let this happen to you, you won't like it. Remember, JuJu, if grey-skinned, genderless aliens abduct you in the middle of the night and stick weird needles and funny liquids in you, you're going to die! But remember, eating lettuce with a spork prevents that. So eat lettuce with a spork today, and you WON'T get probed by aliens! Just kidding. The aliens will get you anyway. Lettuce doesn't help.
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