War and Peace

Yesterday your sons.. NOW, I WANT YOUR DAUGHTERS and STOP calling me Dirty Old Man

It is time, General. Send the attack fleet. This planet will be ours by DAWN!!!

Don't Forget Nuclear Sun Screen

Untitled

Did anyone remember the WD-40? I can't get this freakin' gun turret to turn.

Sarge... why is his underpart missing ?

Congress refused to appropriate money for more rowboats.

Oh dad no! Not one of those old crusade storys again...

After undergoing surgery to reshape his ears, Max Klein survived the Nazi occupation by working as one of Hitler's doubles. He quickly learned how to use make-up to achieve a sickly complexion and spent hours practicing the Fuhrer's accent and his stare.

GOOD ONE! Who writes this stuff?

Usually I braid her mane with ribbons and wear my flowing ermine trimmed robe, but the invite to this battle specified casual dress.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity

Home is wherever you tuck your heart in at night

Don't say it if you don't mean it

Ah, the bygone days, when civility reigned...

The Stairmaster

The year is 1443. All across Europe soldiers, spacetroopers and Knights Templar fight the First Anachronistic War.

Our missions are so classified, the Air Force won't even let US know where we're going!

Quit bitching! The horse doesn't even get a gas mask.

Warm fireplace, lit my pipe, slippers on. But nooooo, I get a stupid text telling me I gotta lead something or other . Or do some signal. Whatever.

I told Otto to go easy on the all-you-can-eat saurkraut & wienersnitzel special at Helga's Pub,

GOING LEFT AND RIGHT

STAHP! STAAHP!