JonatanEA

Me: I get to do the flour project! Dad: What's that? Me: It's when you carry around a flour sac...

Mom: Don't masturbate until your married, that's really the only the only time you need to do it.

*my boyfriend and I are making red frosting for zombie cookies* Mom: I can get you some real hum...

(my grandmother to the cute waiter at the restaurant on my 18th birthday) Grandmother: You know,...

(on a camping trip) Me: Mom, I have something important to tell you. Mom: (flipping burgers and...

Me: So, one of the side effects of my new medicine is decreased sexual drive. Dad: that's not go...