The latest from KireiKitten
If you know you're due to start PMSing very soon, and you've had a really crappy day anyway, just go to bed. Don't try to make it better by watching a movie that is even SLIGHTLY emotional. You'll end up in your bed at 2am, sobbing at Lilo & Stitch. #LFMF
If you write homosexual, erotic fiction in your free time then for the love of god don't tell your siblings! If it wasn't awkward enough already, it will only become more awkward when they tell you that they actually liked it and repeatedly ask for updates. Your relationship will never be the same. #LFMF
Mom: What happened to [your little son's] other sock? Aunt: He lost it, again! I swear, socks should come in packs of three! Dad: That would be nice in winter.
Dad: Are you watching "My Little Pony"? Me: This cartoon is amazing. Leave me alone. Dad: ...It's six AM, you have no job, You're an adult and you're watching cartoons. If you have pot, you better damn well share.
(talking about who I'm going to invite to my birthday party" Mom: Why don't you invite that girl Rachele? Me: I dont really like her Mom: Is it because she's Asain?? Me: Mom, Im Asian TOO!!! Mom: oo yeah Me: ...
Me: (asking my dad if he gave a giftcard to my stepmom) Dad: No. Sorry. Me: Why not dad? Dad: I'm a bad, bad monkey.
Dad (after being 'hushed'): I do not obey the platypus of silence!
