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On the twelfth day of Christmas my kitten gave to me... 12 minutes purring 11 broken knick-knacks 10 well-chewed ribbons 9 furry hairballs 8 midnight frolics 7 soggy cat toys 6 piles of cat poop five ... headless ... mice 4 shredded chairs 3 fea

I'm gettin fixed? Am I broken?

No! I'm not going anywhere! I have hopped across that highway since the nintendo was invented, I'm Sick of It! I'm NOT going! I Quit!

I had a different understanding of the term "wingman"...

One out of three cats will take cover when when one shouts, "Duck!"

When it comes to the milk of human kindness, Eldon is lactose intolerant.

Lyle felt ridiculous, but he heard that the ladies liked it, so he continued to practice.

But Frank, we need FOOD!

Contrary to popular belief, they are not seeing something we can't see.

When I want your opinion

WW

And then Ahkmed was all like "JIHAD!!" and I was all like that is soooo Ahkmed.

Dear lord, is THAT what I look like?

CHAPTER 9 How to Spot an Evil Triplet

Elise suddenly has an idea!

But we spare the little girl, yes?

"If you are watching this now, I have died. I hope it was old age, but it was probably that Buick I liked to chase. Now, on to my will..."

And as the Wise Men gazed into the manger, they...

Channel 7 investigative reporter, Bruce Park, infiltrates the building while disguised as a large whisk broom.

And a late entry in lane three, it's Snowy. She's expected to do very well, as she is not a crustacean, and runs very well on linoleum.

In other news today, a cat in Toledo admired her own ba-donk-a-donk for five hours.

As the humans unexpectedly entered, Lettie froze, and tried to look as ornamental as possible.

I...*ahem*...I was just... y'know...wondering...if it might be my turn in th...

PUPPY HAIKU Nervous between buns I quietly piddle now Put down the ketchup

No way, man! I got this gig 'cause I'm pretty--not 'cause I'm a stuntman!

San Franciscan kitteh makes gruesome discovery. Immediately phones Tony Bennett.

Senator Obama is in favor of mandatory monument tours for dogs. Is THIS change we can believe in?

Mahmoud dazzles the U.N. Assembly by making one finger jump to the other hand and back again. "Witchcraft!" screams Palin.

Ollie was not only haunted by his last two lives, but they had no clue about personal space.

"So I said, 'I'll never let go, Jack! Never!', but...I mean, c'mon. Jack was a 185-pound St. Bernard when he was DRY. So...well... Hey, have I shown you my diamond?"

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