TMaster

When your toddler comes up to you and says "Uh oh" you should probably listen. He might really me...

the reason your mom keeps borrowing your phone: you downloaded the sex-position-of-the-day-app. D...

If you have recently given your two year old a candy bar, NEVER assume that the substance on his ...

That acne medicine you're searching for is OXY-10, not Oxycontin. #LFMF

GOOD: Making rubber in a chemistry class. AWESOME: Getting to touch it and bounce it afterwards....

When you are headed to a job interview and its snowing, bring boots. Do not try to climb up the i...

You may think it's adorable how your cat and your dog like to wrestle each other, but that does n...

You can't pop your back in a spinny office chair by twisting your spine. #LFMF

Take your new girlfriend seriously when she explains she has a high sex drive and actually worn o...

When eating a cupcake covered in frosting, don't eat it while on the computer. You will lose cont...

Paper books do not have a Crtl-F function. #LFMF

You may have enjoyed your long vacation where you can pee with the door open, but you are back at...

Do not try to cuddle boyfriend in the middle of the night after he watched Walking Dead. He WILL ...

Using the extended desktop function between your two monitors does not mean you can move your cur...

Just because Skyrim is out and you used to stay up all night playing video games before work when...

When you get home from buying a five pound bag of flour, make sure to put it away as soon as you ...

When pulling up your pants a little, make sure it was the waistband of the pants you grabbed, not...

If you decide to shower while the brownies youv'e just made are in the oven,and hear the buzzer g...

Just because you now have Skyrim doesn't mean you should totally ignore your mother for it. You w...

While working as a campus security officer, remember to silence your phone. You've set it to make...

When attempting (unsuccessfully) to explain Twilight to your nana (awful, I know), remember this:...

Having bought that new out-of-this-world-awesome coffeemaker, try to curb your enthusiasm. Caffei...

You know you've played way to much Skyrim when; you hear a sonic boom, jump to your feet looking ...

Yelling "Undo! Undo!" at the flaming skillet is no substitute for calmly covering it and removing...

I bought Skyrim the week before my finals. #LFMF

No matter how long you have waited for the PS3 classic white to be available: Do not buy it if yo...

If you get severe motion sickness at the fair, do not assume that 24 hours of rest is enough to l...

A) No matter how desperate you are for a caffeine fix, don't snort green tea powder. B)Better ye...

When going to play football, tackle, two-hand, or even flag, remember to take off your necklace w...

Don't start reading LFMF while eating lunch at your desk. 1 hour and 52 pages later, you will rea...