(After grabbing a beer) Dad stops in the middle of the room, kicks forward, then back, spins around then says... "It IS what its all about" Me: What? Dad: The Hokey Pokey... (drinks Beer)
Mom: I'll accept an illegitimate grandchild before I'll let you bring an illiterate boyfriend into my house!
(Meeting my girlfriend) Dad: Jesus! You look like a witch. Girlfriend: I am a Wiccan, not a witch. Dad: Oh, so you're just crazy and think you have magical powers. I was worried there for a minute.