The latest from danecookisawful
When buying a belt, if your wife insists in purchasing a soft one, don't joke in front of the clerk "Why a soft one? I don't intend to use it to hit you". Perhaps he won't understand you are joking. #LFMF
Good idea: Tacos for dinner. Potentially good idea: Tacos with spicy salsa for dinner. Bad idea: Topping said tacos with sour cream that's "Only four days past expiration and doesn't smell bad." Apocalyptic idea: Eating the same dinner with your boyfriend at your house.
When trying to seduce your GF while showering Do Not put tooth paste on your lower brain and ask her if she wants to brush her teeth. The tooth paste will burn, you will start shrieking like a little girl. She will laugh and proceed tell everyone you know and you will never live it down.
