darthrevan11

No matter how much you want to get achievements, do not play Fruit Ninja for Kinect for six hours...

The water-soluble oil paint your dog got on his face will wash off easily. However the look of ut...

Learn the woman’s last name before sleeping with her. Otherwise you may show up at your dad’s wed...

See that old timon and pumbaa straw that you got from disney on ice 7 years ago? Yeah, wash it be...

Remember, it's prostate cancer, NOT prostitute cancer. Remember this before talking to your teach...

Never assume that your 10 year old in the next room is asleep and can't hear you having sex. He'...

When going to a nightclub that uses blacklights, remember that your shirt is thin and your white ...

That police helicopter circling your apartment complex tonight? They are looking for a serial ki...

Gents: Be careful how intently you focus on your work on your first day at a new job. You might n...

Do not ignore the persistent cat that wants attention. She will headbutt your hand repeatedly a...

You know your partner well. He likes to overuse jokes. No matter How sorry you feel for his lack ...

If your mum just phoned the police to report a prowler, do not go out to look for the prowler. Th...

Requesting a "meatlong football" at Subway will not only get you nothing to eat, but laughed at b...

If you're not quite sure what a "shotgun wedding is," do not tell your girlfriend's parents that ...

The "Search Friends" text box and the "Status" box on Facebook look similar, and you will be ask...

You may want to have some open-air sex in the woods. Before doing that please check where are you...

A few years ago, a friend of mine and I were discussing the pronunciation of the letter Z. You kn...

I don't care how tired you are and how much you want to get home, make sure you board the correct...

If you must do something as stupid as set your cell phone ringtone to an air-raid siren, set it o...

If you hear slurping noises from the next room, you should not assume it is the TV because it wil...

Always keep track of where you put the 2.5lb sledgehammer when working on a ladder. If you forget...

If you enjoy playing with your cat by making him chase the laser pointer REMEMBER TO CLOSE YOUR A...

Do not disassemble is a warning, not a challenge. #LFMF

If you are rather short in stature, just get a step stool to get the mugs off the top shelf. Do n...

When speaking to your seated very attractive female superior NCOIC, never try to sneak a glance a...

When asking one of your twin nieces to make you a cup of coffee, make sure the one you ask is the...

Do not read a comedy website when your history class is watching a video on Nazis.

In the recording world a mic that's too loud is referred to as being too hot, however, not everyo...

Always tie the strings provided on your skirt. They are there for a reason. Because when you are ...

When trying to introduce your six-year-old little sister to My Little Pony, please remember that ...