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Mom: Vampires have to be careful because of AIDS.
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Mom: I'm sorry I can't hear you I don't have my glasses on
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Dad: Do I have to talk to you about the birds and the bees? Me: Uh... no, Dad, that's really not...
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Mom: Why would your cousin wear a strapless wedding dress when she has "69" tattooed on her chest...
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Dad: Never marry for sex. Marry for love, to hide your gay lover, or for money, I don't care, but...
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(Talking about who I'll marry) Dad: I'll accept any race, religion, and even gender but I draw t...
