lokiebe

while talking about my best friend mom: omg. Emma has a boyfriend me: yeah, I know. mom: aren'...

(dad storms into house) Dad: Well, at least I never f*cked a penguin!

Mom: Lets get some snacks up in this bitch!

Me: I hate salty food. Dad: Good, I don't have to worry about you sucking dick.

Me: My boyfriend is beginning to look like a cross between Abe Lincoln and a wolf-man Dad: So h...