lostandfound1

Grandma: "I'm bedridden, Anna. I can't walk anymore!" Me: "That's awful! But the your phone is i...

Me: How did you manage figuring out how to join Matt's event on Facebook? Dad: I don’t know h...

Dad: Booby trap warehouse are looking for a bra fitter, do you think I could do it? Me: You just...

Me: I bought this dress bc it's pretty when I twirl in it. Dad: That's why I buy all my dresses.

Mom: "You know, Samuel L. Jackson was in Jurassic Park." Me: "Really? Who was he?" Mom: "The bl...

Mom: I can't find your Father's Day present. Dad: What do you mean there is a raccoon in the kit...

(After being asked if he needed a box to carry home my first hamster) Dad: No, I'll just eat it ...

Me: Mum, please watch where you're going. Mum: If the kids dont like my driving, they should get...

Me: Can I have some chips? Aunt: Yeah, but only the broken ones, because the calories fall out o...

Sister: We're out of tampons. Dad: I was just about to mention that.

(After seeing some Honda commercial) Mom: They still make those? Me: What? Mom: Cars.

Me: "I wonder what teachers do when we have a day off and they don't." Mom: "Well, I would assum...

Dad: I don't go skinny dippin'...I go chunky dunkin'.

Dad: "What's that TV program - Vampy the Buff Slayer?"

Mum: I'm sorry, I'm not apologizing.