The latest from love_drunk18
(While my mom was on a girl's weekend, she called me) Mom: I can't find my phone... Help me find my phone! Me: Mom, you called me on your phone. Mom: (to my Aunt) She found my phone for me! I told you calling her would help. Me: *facepalm*
(Helping my dad fix the car, and he's trying to get a screw in hole which he cant see.) Me: Need any help? Dad: I've got five kids, I think I can hit a hole...
(watching twilight with mom) Edward: How about the weather? Bella: I don't like the rain. I don't like cold, wet things. Mom: Yea, well, Frosty the Snowman thinks you suck too.
Grandma: You know how some people don't like clowns and think they're scary? Me: Yeah... Grandma: I'm that way about pilgrims.
(My sister finds a Canadian nickel with a picture of a beaver on the tails side) Mom: That's funny... Me: What? Mom: The Queen's head on one side and her beaver on the other. Me: What?
Dad: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.
Dad: What's that one game everyone's playing? Dead Cats? Mom: ...Angry Birds? Dad: Yeah, that.
[Parents in bedroom looking at cold/flu tablets. I walk in looking for the cat] Me: Hey, mum, dad, have you seen- Dad: Hang on, we're just comparing drugs.
(My mom talking about the size of my chest while trying on clothes.) Mom: Good God, look at those things! They're like hills, or islands, or something big and geographical!
Mom: You know I hate glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world.
