mrs.jasper

Me: What's for dinner? Mom: BBQ chicken breasts. Dad: CHICKEN TITS‽

(Showing my mom Justin Bieber for the first time) Me: So, what do you think? Mom: Does his baby...

Mom: Why don't we go to Baskin Robins and get you an ice cream cake for your birthday? Me: What?...

(Me just out of the shower) Me: Ah, the shower at home always feels better than that at the dorm...

Mom: Today is May 4th and it is Star Wars day, do you know why that is? Me: I don't know know, w...

mom: dont ask me! i wasnt there when you where born. me: mom... you gave birth to me. mom: you ...

My mom after some woman cut her off: "Yes, grandma, jump right out in front of us! Cuz we're high...

*Older sister was listening to Justin Bieber* Mom: Amanda! Stop listening to those lesbian sin...

(Discussing conspiracy theories) Mom: That's like the government trying to cover up the assassin...

*shows mom new perfume* Me: here mom smell this Mom: smells like food Me: wtf? Mom: it smell...

Me: What do you think about this outfit...? Mom: Yesss, great...but not those white leggings un...

(Dad is driving me and a friend home after getting ice cream) Friend: I have sprinkles stuck in ...

(while shoppong for perfume for my mom and getting a lady who works there to help us) lady: here...