skystrider

Mom: Get sexy, we're going to Target.

Father: (On phone for half hour with telemarketer) "I'm not wearing any pants right now!"

Mom: Do drugs, get pregnant, become a crack whore, ANYTHING! Just DON'T drop the cheesecake!

*Phone rings* Grandpa: If that's my wife, I'm not here! Grandma (sitting right next to him):...

My mother: If you do that again, I'm going to sacrifice you on an altar.

Dad: What in the world happened to all the toilet paper?! Brother: Don't make me spell it out fo...

Brother: Hey Dad, when you die you can play guitar with Jimi Hendrix... Mum: and Jesus Dad: Don...

(Mom playing Black Ops and petting the dog.) Mom: Alright puppy. Go lay down, I have to kill.

(while shopping for a backpack) Me: I kinda like this purple plaid one. Dad: It looks like they...

Mom: So was it a date? Me: I don't know. Dad: You coy bitch. You know, we hate people like you.