LFMF
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When watching a movie in the cinema, be careful not to think of a funny joke you heard earlier. I...
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Windows are tangible, no matter how fast you are going. #LFMyDogsF
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When looking into a new place to live, always do a thorough Google search of the community you're...
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There is no such thing like "Just 5 Minutes of Minecraft". #LFMF
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When removing air vent covers to paint a room, secure your cat in a separate room first. Dismantl...
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When proud parents of a week old baby present it to you and ask "Who do you think he looks like?"...
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It's not a good idea to watch a scary movie late at night when you're at a friend's house and hav...
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General rule of thumb: Always make sure your pants are, indeed, pants when packing. Otherwise you...
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Do not play the Sims drunk. Everyone will die. #LFMF
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When having a friendly discussion with an elderly customer (who is missing one hand and is wearin...
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(To my 3 year old niece who is pretending to be a baby doll's mother) Me: Josie, did that baby c...
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When on holiday in New York, sitting in your hostel with an hour to kill, never watch the random ...
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Just because you bribed a cop with a free doughnut (I work at a doughnut shop) worked once does n...
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If you're in a restaurant and you suddenly realize you desperately needed to pass gas, don't th...
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Never go to the Premiere of a movie like Contagion when you are VERY sick and coughing A LOT. Peo...
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If you're a teacher who has just finished participating in a long and exhausting school fair, and...
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Tried to log onto CIA website. Computer shut down. Sheer panic. Turns out cable fell out. #LFMF
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When you wake up to go pee at 3 am, remember your mom put something in your toliet that makes the...
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When stealing a laptop with a Pirate Party sticker on it from someone who looks a bit geeky, good...
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When aggressively pushing your legs to roll your chair backwords: A. Make sure you are not in f...
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Just because your grandmother is over 90 and has never been on a computer before, don't assume sh...
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Woman don't like it when you confuse them with your tall, burly male friend. they especially hate...
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I watched MTV. #LFMF
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It is never, I repeat, NEVER acceptable to correct grammar or spelling in a love letter. #LFMF
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So yeah... Wax tends to melt in hot water. Life lesson: don't wash your candles in the dishwasher...
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When you get in the shower, remember to take your clothes off. #LFMF
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When buying large amounts of ammo on valentines day for the date you have planned (some girls lik...
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If you decide to have a practical joke war for an entire week with your brother, remember why he ...
