The latest from -Karma-
Mom: "The dog NEEDS a life preserver! Look, he's little! Our other dogs have big feet, they can paddle well, but he has teeny little legs." Dad: "Tiny legs, bah! Midgets can swim!" Me: "Okay, that's it. I'm quoting you on the internet." Dad: "What, is there a 'Dumb Shit My Dad Says' site?"
Mums boyfriend: I'm going to shoot off in a minute (meaning go home) mum: That's not a very appropriate thing to say in front of my kids. [She then laughed for about 10 minutes)
Talking about different genres of people, like hipster, punk, emo, gangster, prep... Mom: He likes the Jersey Shore. What would he be then? Me: Dumb. Mom: No, but REALLY. Me: ...huh. That's kind of the opposite of hipster. Mom: ....dumpster?
ME: I've always been into car customization. MOM: Oh like that show ride my pimp? ME: ...?
(During Lent) Dad: Should we go to that vegetarian place for dinner? Mom: No, I'm not in the mood for vegetarian, I just want no meat.
Driving with dad passing a cemetary: Dad: you know how many people are dead in there? Me: I dunno, a couple hundred? Dad: all of them. Me: .... *facepalm*
(Me and Grandpa watching informercial on tv) TV: Learn Cindy Crawford's Secret! Grandpa: I knew it! She is a man!
*While driving, my mom looks out the window and sees cows grazing* Mom: Are those beef cows? Dad: No, they're pork cows
Grandma: You're so skinny! Me (a 26 y/o male): Oh... Grandma: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you skinny. You're not skinny, you just have no muscle.
