7 Things to Buy Instead of a $10,000 Gold Apple Watch

Yesterday, Apple unveiled the release and pricing for its upcoming selection of wearable technology. This included showing off a leather-banded, 18 karat gold watch that surely does far more than tell the time.
Still, if you've got 10 large just hangin' around, it's good to know all the options available to you.
So here are some things that also cost $10,000.

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1
Captain Kangaroo's Conductor Hat

Don't check your watch to see if the train's on time, buy the hat of someone who probably never drove one!

Via Ebay
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2
350 Hawaiian Shirts!

Why buy ONE dumb ol' watch when you can get 350 dumb ol' shirts? Do the math!

Via Ebay
3
Diamond-Studded, Dragon-Tiger, Boot-Cut, Distressed Jeans

Even gold Apple Watch buyers have to put their hideous pants on one leg at a time.

Via Key Closet
4
Agent Smith's Sunglasses from The Matrix

If only there was a way to make Siri respond to "Mr. Anderson"...

Via Ebay
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5
A Stegosaurus Beanie Baby

I knew dinosaurs were rare, but this guy (creatively named "Steg") must be the last of his kind.

Via Ebay
6
Serenity Pod Bed

I think they made a typo. It should probably read "Claustrophobic Pod Nightmare."

Via Dude I Want That
7
203 Simpsons Tattoos

All the REAL fans are getting them.
What's that?
You only have 197?
You must not like The Simpsons very much.

Via Complex