Failbook

Reddit Introduces The Button, Continues Tradition of Staging Weird April Fools' Day Social Experiments

  • 1

    Here's how you brand yourself with The Mark of the Button

    Rectangle


    Once visiting r/thebutton you are presented with the titular Button and a countdown clock measuring the nonexistent patience of reddit users.


    As a regular subreddit, it also includes a list of voted topics, which is where things take the usual turn.

  • 2

    It began a site-wide argument about everyone pressing or not pressing The Button

    Text - the button 273.291 particlpants 5945 EVERYONE STOP PRESSING, WE HAVE TO CONSERVE OUR BUTTON PRESSES 1 3769 submitted 6 hours ago by exponentialpotential 3558 comments share save hide report The timer goes down when buttons aren't being pressed, but if we use them all now, we won't be able to keep pressing the button later! Edit: Yes, my fellow Redditors, it was only after I pressed the button that I realized my mistake Edit 2: Gold?? Tis meaningless when the most valuable possession I had


    Because, you see, if you press The Button, you aren't simply left with The Shame. You are given a tiny bit of flair that will here on out, dictate all human relationships.

  • 3

    Those who press The Button receive a purple dot next to their username

    Text - I pressed the button. AMA submitted 6 hours ago + by Ich_rauche_Gras 1081 comments
  • 4

    Those who don't are given a calming grey one

    Text - powerlanguage non presser
  • 5

    This led to the quick rise of a temperance move

    Text - [-] AnthonyCapps Never press. Be pure. 174 points 2 hours ago permalink save report give gold reply [-] scottmccauley 137 points 1 hour ago #StayGrey permalink save parent report give gold reply [] kemitche 35 points 1 hour ago 50 shades of non-presser-gray permalink save parent report give gold reply [-] SomethingTo DanceTo 21 points 39 minutes ago #PurpleNurple permalink save parent report give gold reply TheGenocides 30 points 37 minutes ago GET OUT OF HERE U DIRTY PRESSER permalink sa


  • 6

    The temperance movement started its own subreddit: r/NoTap

    Gesture - Don't be Hitler /r/NoTap


    At the official movement site non button-pushers rally around each other for support.



  • 7

    One stalwart Redditor has graphed The Button data every ten minutes

    Text - The Amazing Button Graph Pushes BOPS New Pushes (4rd Order polynomial) New pushes (x10 to show detail) Estimated Pushes (2nd order polynomial) 350000 25 y0914+1128.8x-17816 R0.99814 300000 20 250000 200000 150000 100000 ySE-0Sx+00451x-15.594x2 + 1954.5x 22354 R 061681 50000 EDGAR'S MISSION 50 350 450 100 150 200 250 300 400 Time (minutes) Presses Button Operations Per Seconds


    Here's a few more examples:






    All the while /u/bealan has still NOT pressed The Button.

  • 8

    No one knows what will happen should the timer reach zero. Here is the closest recorded occurance:

    Product - the button 124,614 participants 2667



    Maybe just hold your loved ones tight and pray The Button keeps getting pushed.

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