Here's What Women in Video Games Would Look Like if They Had Realistic Bodies

• 1

  No comments about Americanization! Christie is Brazilian, you bastards!

  
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• 2

  All artificial computer programs are beautiful.

  
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• 3

  C'mon, Rockstar! Isn't your whole schtick to satirize the vapid indulgence of American culture?

  
  Grand Theft Auto V is about portraying America as it really is: a nation of violent, jaded, self-indulgent, imperialistic, superficial, gaudy, misanthropic criminals! At least you could get our body type right!
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• 4

  The only Fatality that's going to happen here is from that dangerously low BMI.

  
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• 5

  Sonya is no exception.

  
  It doesn't matter that she's a strong-willed, dedicated career military woman who no doubt must undergo rigorous physical training in special ops to protect the world from marauding hordes of bloodthirsty demons and aliens. She's a bad example. Shame, NetherRealm, shame.
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• 6

  Hey, at least it's a step up from pyramid breasts.

  
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• 7

  The Gerudo tribe is literally 99.9% women! Only one man is born every 100 years.

  
  Which means they shouldn't have to conform to male beauty standards, right?
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• 8

  Even Dead or Alive 5 needs some more realism.

  
  Stop laughing, I'm serious.
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• 9

  Don't think you're exempt, Squeenix.

  
  Aerith had an unrealistic body shape, and she's dead. I rest my case.
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• 10

  Living in a world with realistic portrayals of fictional characters: now that's MY Final Fantasy.

  
  Okay, this was obviously satire, but you get the idea. There are so many hourglasses in video games that I feel like I'm in an... an... an hourglass... store... or something. Mix it up, guys. Speaking of guys, same goes for them. The only six-pack I want to see from now on is the one I reach for in the fridge. After I finished the last one. A whole one. Today. In the last hour. While crying.
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