BenKasicaPwnz

Dad: Son, we just want you to meet a nice girl, get married, and give us grandchildren. *looks at...

(Driving with my mom and sister) Sister (to me): Your birthday is on the 9th, right? Me: Um, no...

*Grandma looking off in the distance* Grandma: You know, there used to be a time when I could fa...

*my little brother had heard the word 'vagina' at school, and i was trying to explain why he shou...

*Watching a movie with older brother, brothers friend, and mom* Friend: I don't think Grace shou...

(I was adopted) Me: So do you know who my real parents are? Dad: Some harlot that was too relig...

Grandpa: (While holding my grandma's hands) Can I touch you? Grandma: You already are touching m...

(My Dad, Mom, And I walking around looking in shops) Dad: My favorite part of going into the sto...

Me: You're a gay monkey. Dad (married for 14 years): I'm not a monkey

*Talking about Taylor Swift* Me: She was an Abercrombie and Fitch model before her singing caree...

*My Grandmother walks in while me and my cat are meowing back and forth* Gramma: Emily, you need...

*My parents watching a dinosaur show* Mom: What are those things on its head? Dad: I don't know...

*Right after telling my mom that I'm gay* Mom: Well, then I guess I should give you the same adv...

Grandma, on facebook: Hi honey, I heard you had another one of your awful kidney stone episodes. ...

(on my first weekend home after moving into the dorm at college) Dad: So, are any of your roomma...

Mom: Japan? Everyone is polite over there, expect the ninjas.

Mom: I want something to snack on... Dad: Well lets go in the bedroom! Me: Ewwwwwww Mom: I wan...

Mom: Grace, I'm fat. I don't like being fat. Go make me some cookies.