Cenera

Sister (On the subject of a blueberry donut): I am never going to eat a regular donut again, beca...

(While opening my Sweet 16 present from Uncle) Me:Oh wow, thanks for the jewelry box. Uncle...

Dad: Get your lazy butt of that coutch! Brother: Why? There's nothing wrong with it. Dad: You w...

Me:I'm mad at you. Mom:No you're not, you are definitely not mad at me. Me:What? Mom:Shut up!I...

Mom: One day you'll have kids and they will be your karma for being so rebellious. Me: Then I wo...

Me: Mom...my eye keeps twitching... Sister: maybe it's because you're stressed... Mom: maybe it...

Dad: If you come back from the movies and you and your girlfriend remember the end of that movie,...

Mom: No matter how mad at me you get, please do not join Scientology

Grandma: Well I'm not surprised people from small towns get pregnant, there's not much to do now ...

Grandma: I can be a cheerleader! Come on boys! come on boys! Come and show me all your toys!

Mom: Your vagina is basically just a little swimming pool full of various bacteria! Me: *chokes*

Me: Dad, can you make me a Root Beer Float? Dad: My god, what's wrong with you? First I had to g...

(on finding out my teenage cousin is pregnant) Mom: It's days like this that I'm glad your a les...