KireiKitten

If you know you're due to start PMSing very soon, and you've had a really crappy day anyway, just...

If you write homosexual, erotic fiction in your free time then for the love of god don't tell you...

Mom: What happened to [your little son's] other sock? Aunt: He lost it, again! I swear, socks sh...

Dad: Are you watching "My Little Pony"? Me: This cartoon is amazing. Leave me alone. Dad: ...It...

(talking about who I'm going to invite to my birthday party" Mom: Why don't you invite that girl...

Me: (asking my dad if he gave a giftcard to my stepmom) Dad: No. Sorry. Me: Why not dad? Dad: ...

Dad (after being 'hushed'): I do not obey the platypus of silence!

(Me and my Mum walked into Kmart behind a gay couple holding hands.) Mum: Oh my God! Look at th...

Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage? Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your...

Dad: Our entire family seems to have prostate problems. I have it, your grandpa has it, his fathe...