nitromitro

Correct: My online gaming clan is having a meeting tonight. Incorrect: I'm going to a clan meetin...

When sloshed at a beer pong tourney, do NOT grab "your drink" off the table edge. It will take a...

Even if slapping the itch from a new tattoo, keep in mind the tattoo extends to your left buttock...

Even if you are late getting your little brothers to preschool, check what they are bringing for ...

Prepositions are important. There's a world of difference between "my friend is writing a book a...

When your 2 year old comes up to you and shows you the two tiny pebbles she's holding and tells y...

Fellatio is not a Shakespearian character. #LFMF

If you are over 20, you should not still be trick-or-treating. the nice lady that normally gives ...

If waterskiing for the first time, wear a one piece, not a bikini. When you fall backwards and ha...

When removing air vent covers to paint a room, secure your cat in a separate room first. Dismantl...

Today, I went to a school trip. During there, some girl had drawn herself a swastika on her hand ...

Yes, you're wearing an oven mitt. No, this doesn't mean that both of your hands are invincible to...

It's not a good idea to watch a scary movie late at night when you're at a friend's house and hav...

My brothers fail: 99% of the moves you saw on the matrix cannot be performed. Don't try unless yo...

When visiting Subway with your soon-to-be father-in-law and eating a footlong sub and half your i...

Make sure your co-workers know you have a diabetic pet before letting yourself be overheard sayin...

When jumping over a snow bank to get to the sidewalk always check who is on the other side. You m...

When proud parents of a week old baby present it to you and ask "Who do you think he looks like?"...

Never mix too much alcohol with M&M's. You will forget you ate them and panic three hours later w...

Right after my husband and I got married we were sleeping and I rolled over. At the same time, he...

Good idea: Put the music for your new belly dancing choreography on your MP3 player, so you can r...

If you work at a grocery store, always ask if the customer wants their tea in a sack, and not a b...

Never spray 5 colors of hair dye in your daughter's heair for homecoming colors day. the fumes w...

if your headphones often disconnect from your player, DO NOT walk through school/public listening...

Some dubstep has words. When listening to said dubstep, do not freak out when a guy starts talkin...