The latest from nomnomnom1997
My Brother: Should i teach my poke'mon protect? My mom: Is it going to have sex?
Me: Yeah, Dad. Free things are generally good. Well, except herpes. Dad: You know what's worse than herpes? Herpes you have to pay for.
Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other things Me: ... Mom: Your knees sink in too much.
Grandma (making funeral plot arrangements for Grandpa): Well...I guess he finally got his way. Aunt: Oh Mom...Wait, what? Grandma: Well, he always wanted me on top.
(About to leave on a road trip) Mom: Now remember, if you get hungry, stop and get something to eat" Me: "Should I write that down?"
