nomnomnom1997

My Brother: Should i teach my poke'mon protect? My mom: Is it going to have sex?

Me: Yeah, Dad. Free things are generally good. Well, except herpes. Dad: You know what's worse t...

Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other...

Grandma (making funeral plot arrangements for Grandpa): Well...I guess he finally got his way. A...

(About to leave on a road trip) Mom: Now remember, if you get hungry, stop and get something to ...

Mom: See my new ring I got for my anniversary? you have to buy your bitch new jewelery if you wan...

*After my mom finds out I have a girlfriend* Mom: Son, I'm happy you've found a nice young wom...

Mom: "Do you want something to drink, Mom? Water, juice, wine, tea?" Grandma: "What time is it?"...

Mom: (Trying to make me smile for a picture) Anime. World of Warcraft. Me: ... Mom: Your dad's ...