nomnomnom1997's Favorites
My Brother: Should i teach my poke'mon protect? My mom: Is it going to have sex?
Me: Yeah, Dad. Free things are generally good. Well, except herpes. Dad: You know what's worse t...
Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other...
Grandma (making funeral plot arrangements for Grandpa): Well...I guess he finally got his way. A...
(About to leave on a road trip) Mom: Now remember, if you get hungry, stop and get something to ...
Mom: See my new ring I got for my anniversary? you have to buy your bitch new jewelery if you wan...
*After my mom finds out I have a girlfriend* Mom: Son, I'm happy you've found a nice young woman. But if you get her pregnant, I swear, as God as my witness, I will personally cut off your penis.
Mom: "Do you want something to drink, Mom? Water, juice, wine, tea?" Grandma: "What time is it?" Me: "4:30" Grandma: "Oh, wine time!"
Mom: (Trying to make me smile for a picture) Anime. World of Warcraft. Me: ... Mom: Your dad's a fatass.
