rachelhi

*My dad and I were at the mall and some guy was handing out free samples of their new fudge* Fre...

(my dad walked up to our cat (Greg) and the cat ran away) Dad: Greg! How did you know I was goin...

my dad is in love with the movie napoleon dynamite. his favorite part is when uncle rico throws m...

(Boyfriend fell asleep on the couch. I poke him, trying to wake him up.) BF: DONT TOUCH THAT D...

Mom talking about my bossy aunt: She's learned that she's not in charge in this house. There's ...

(My mum gets cut off in heavy traffic): Mum: "WELL I HOPE YOUR NEXT S**T IS A PORCUPINE!"

(At a restaurant, a song begins to play.) Mom: Who sings this song? She has a really nice voice!...

(Watching the news) Mum: I wish we could have some nice news for once. Like, we turn on the TV a...

(While driving...again) Dad: I wanna be a Serial Killer. Gonna kill someone and put cereal on th...

Mom: Who do you think is easier to raise, girls or boys? Dad: CATS!

(My mom talking about the size of my chest while trying on clothes.) Mom: Good God, look at thos...