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Funny Memes 'N Tweets To Keep You Occupied

Y'all want some memes? You're in luck! We've got a ton of 'em right here. We've mixed a ton of tweets, too, so you can flex those reading muscles of yours. You're welcome.

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  • 1
    Hair - Young Person @EricTrillman_ This is the most aggressive cut a white woman can have. If I see a white woman on the street with this hair l'm crossing to the other side.
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  • 2
    Product - @evankirstel Saw this guy at Wal-Mart buying ALL of their remaining Santa hats, when I asked what he was buying them for he said "I do this every year after Christmas and donate them to children's hospitals for next year" reddit.com/r/HumansBeingB.. #NRF2020 Restrooms If there's anything you need, just ask. Lese this space Cortact 04125 Su 4:30 PM · 1/13/20 · Buffer
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  • 3
    Text - mogrady @mogrady_ overheard my crush say her favorite show was Two and a Half Men U2 (OLLEPALOOA LOLLAPALOOZA ead VE 4:53 PM · 1/7/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 4
    Text - screenageralex Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you've skipped the tutorial and you're just sort of running about with no idea how anything works rumbutt Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you've figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you're supposed to be doing. pengychan Being 30-35 is coming to the conclusion that if wildly swinging a sword at random while screaming has gotten
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  • 5
    Text - Dyhn Dylan Hafer @thedylanhafer the year is 2011. your friend just got her driver's license and you're driving to Starbucks after school to get passion tea lemonades. Wild Ones by Flo Rida and Sia is blasting on the radio. you take selfies on your new iPhone 4, which finally has a front camera. life is good.
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  • 6
    Photograph - Emediong sunday @Famousino 3 years of not seeing my kid sis ( she added weight and a big ass ) RA 1:00 AM Jan 10, 2020 from Ikeja, Nigeria · Twitter for iPhone 1.5K Retweets 7.9K Likes ELVIS @pheenum_ · 8h Replying to @Famousino What in the golden name of Lannister is going on here??
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  • 7
    Text - Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyinc... @DragonflyJonez That's Ed Harris Olly Smith @OllyWrites · Jan 7 Yoda with human skin. Show this thread
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  • 8
    Text - Veronica Jamison Art @VeronicaJArt Some of y'all aren't happy unless the women around you are in a perpetual state of suffering. Poppa Esko @PoppaEsko I would Respect a girl more if she stayed with one dude that was Mis treating her for 15 years than some Girl that leaves every man she has a problem with.
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  • 9
    Text - Katherine Goble @KayLova27 The absolute worst time to be on public transportation is when kids just learning how to cuss are getting out of school 4:21 PM · Jan 6, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 10
    Text - Clarkisha Kent O @IWriteAlIDay_ now this is just rude O trish @ULTRAGLOSS · 9h introverted romantics be like i'm gonna find my soulmate but i'm not leaving my bedroom to do it 8:15 PM · 12 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone 27 Retweets 171 Likes Alamin Yohannes O @Alamin.. · 37m v Replying to @IWriteAl|Day_ My first reaction: Lower your voice, this is too loud.
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  • 11
    Text - Eric Haywood @EricHaywood "I tried to tell y'all." - Henrietta Lacks New Scientist O @newscientist · 2d New Scientist 23andMe has sold the rights to develop a drug based on its users' DNA newscienti.st/ 35Nbhd6 4:28 PM · 11 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 12
    Text - Darth Vader Stan Account @xoxoxMinnie Ijust cried laughing at this My Son 5:04 PM Daddy where you at Leaving Walmart almost home. Why? You brought me to Walmart with you Damn DeMarlon I forgot you was with with me. I'll be there in a minute 5:15 PM You left me? Type a message... 10:08 PM · 1/11/20 · Tweetlogix
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  • 13
    Text - tyler @spacedtyler · 2d One time I saw Samuel L. Jackson at an airport and he saw me and my cousin hovering around trying to gain the courage to ask him for a photo and then he came over to us and said "Y'all motherfuckers want a photo?" And it was everything. Aidan Moher @ad... · 04/01/2020 Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a lie but is absolutely true. Show this thread 2732.8K 190 209K Maximus Meridius @kejimicheal · 1d I heard that mothafucker in this tweet.
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  • 14
    Font - P @abi_abz25 that £3.50 delivery charge can make your hunger go away 19:17 · 10 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 15
    Text - Kimberly Boswell @KSBoswell nobody: kids coughing an not covering their mouths: 8:23 AM · Jan 11, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 16
    Text - ASI @Tak_KingCole I'm concerned that you're in February already JADÉ O @thejadelauryn · 5h it's 66 degrees in february.... y'all not concerned? 10:42 AM · 12 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 17
    Yoda - 30-year-old me 30-year-old me around real around adults teenagers @9GAG
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  • 18
    Product - Me after winning an argument with wifey.
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  • 19
    Sign - When your friend is doing something stupid, but you kind of want to see where it goes STOP
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  • 20
    Text - The Untastic Mr. Fitz @UnFitz The most imprecise of all measurements is "room temperature." Except perhaps for "shitload." 7:59 AM 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 21
    Text - Seamus McKracken @seamusmckracken Are they still nudes if l'm wearing a cape, a mask and an empty pizza box? 5:17 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 22
    Text - Batman's Mom @Triathleteby35 I broke a wine glass yesterday and now my husband will only bring me wine in the kid's little plastic cups. I think it's fine, until one of the kids thinks it's their cup. I should just drink fast, right? 12:01 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for Android
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  • 23
    Text - Ham on Wry @realHamOnWry Years ago I got married because I needed more alone time. 8:35 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 24
    Text - Laurazepam @andlikelaura cat: *rolls over on back* pet me me: this is a trap cat: it's not i promise me: cat: me: cat: me: *goes to pet belly* cat: *claws and bites my hand* ahaha have some bunny kicks, as a treat you stupid idiot 12:13 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 25
    Text - Laura Marie @Imegordon Lucky Charms is a nutritious, low- sugar breakfast option for kids if you eat all the marshmallows out while they're sleeping. 6:10 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for Android
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  • 26
    Text - Anita Helmet @AnitaHelmet See, I went in the OPPOSITE direction from Gwyneth and waxed my chooch with a scented taper candle. Now my vag smells like Elderberry Breeze mixed with Country Morning Sunflower (I needed two candles to get it all. It's been a long winter). 6:13 AM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 27
    Text - Bison @FunnyBison Every weekend, I write something outrageously shocking on Facebook, hack into my mother's webcam and record her reaction to it. Then I set it to some Tom Waits music and giggle. I want to stop, but l've won four experimental film awards already. 3:15 PM · 1/12/20 · Twitter for iPad
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  • 28
    Text - Betches O @betchesluvthis betches Delivery apps be like Meal $16 Delivery Fee $3 Tip $5 Total $154.67
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  • 29
    Footwear - Girls: We just want dresses with pockets Boys: TRADERS SECRET Comfort with convenience toboot! "CALFMULES" CARGO SOCKS SPACIOUS taied COMFORTABLE A fll 2 72 cubic in iall jerys l hining fwr per fe 6 PAIR FLOP SLOTS! Special-engineered toe slor is ready for sandal season! 8 ONE SIZE FITS MOST VEEKDAYS
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  • 30
    Text - Matthew A. Cherry O @MatthewACherry Y'all really need to get paid for y'alls photoshop skills cause... TV Fanatic THE SCREAM I LET OUT... @Khaleesi_Hodan · Jan 10 COMING TO AMERICA pUST BECAUSE YOURE INVITED, DOESNT MEAN YOU'RE WELCOME GET OUT VITT CTED BY JORDAN PEELE IN THEATERS FEBRUARY 24 9:23 PM · Jan 10, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 31
    Text - "You Look Like Stress" .. so they sa... @Marquis_Young | gotta play this uno in a mink coat with some champagne @2_jeasy · 16h () JEA$Y * Rt: for this new concept Like: if it should stay the same Show this thread ONN UNO MINIMALIISTA 9:16 AM · 1/11/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 32
    Text - Mindy Robinson Gwyneth Paltrow came out with a $75 candle called "This Smells Like My Vagina." O @iheartm... · 2h v So what do you guys think it smells like? I'm going with kale and turtle water. O 2,384 Q 1,336 27 295 Jonathan Braswell @jbraz74- 2h Can of Starkist and shame 2715 146 Starkist @StarKistCharlie Replying to @jbraz74 and @iheartmindy Leave us out of this, Jonathan. 7:27 PM 1/11/20 · Twitter Web App
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  • 33
    Cat - Mr Glenn Danzig working hard at his newspaper job. Backstory: we live in a relatively small town. Our house is next to our main intersection so our neighbors are businesses to the right and back of us. Glenn is an indoor/ outdoor cat who has gained access to the newspaper next door and became a beloved office mate and mascot. They post pics of him sleeping and getting treats to his FB page so I know where he is. EBE SAIVE IO Prced right NA A15% OFF Bauer -PACKAGES
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  • 34
    Text - Louie from Remember the Titans is RIPPED now G (via ethansuplee/Instagram) 73 DIE FIRST QUIT THEN VEL SOLUTENS ETHANSUPLEE INSTAGRAM 23:07 · 09 Jan 20 · Spredfast app 4,730 Retweets 32.8K Likes Alexander McClover @BumpNrunAlex · 13h Replying to @SportsNation and @espn From all them Piggyback rides he gave Petie's momma 27 52 11 744
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  • 35
    Text - Chaos Agent Of Color @daniecal Every time I tweet about Lizzo my replies are flooded with ppl espousing 'concern' for the celebration of an 'unhealthy lifestyle' but who are fans of rappers who might as well be named Lil Substance Abuse 5:45 PM · 08 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 36
    Cartoon - Doja Chinchilla @urbestenemy Me pretending to be my homegirl's boyfriend so creepy niggas can leave her alone 10:50 · 11 Jan 20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 37
    Motor vehicle - When you lie on your résumé but still get the job THE DAD
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  • 38
    Ceiling - Guys please stop thanking our janitor he's stronger than ever now
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